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Recovery Journal Entries

Drug Addiction Support

  1. Sam's Story - As honest as she can be here and to herself - Part 2

    Just spoke to Sam.... She thanks all of you for all the helpful info and resources. She spent most of her time yesterday here on this board and was amazed at the peoples knowledge and kindness. Sam hopes to be a productive member of this community after she gets herself back on track. Until then she is hesitant to post other than in her own threads because she realizes that in this state she has no business trying to give others advice or guidance. Sam would also like to know if anyone...
  2. Sam's Story - As honest as she can be here and to herself - Part 1

    Sam has decided since getting the boot out of pain mgmt that she will not pursue another clinic. The embarassment of getting popped for a dirty UA that consisted of marijuana use & adderall has made her look at herself and dig deep to make a decision. Although the fact that Sam has been prescribed pain meds for the past 7 yrs for degenerative disc disease, sciatica and a bulging disc at L-1 S-5 she really doesn't have a clue if the pain caused by these ailments really constitute the...
  3. Is this guy an alcohol addict? Help diagnose - Part 10

    A jubilee bump! Yes, today is the day. It's exactly 10 months since my buddy is nicotine free. His gateway drug, his longest-lasting addiction, most toxic of all the things he used, the one he felt completely helpless to face and overcome is gone and belongs to the past now. He smoked for 19 years and during that time made only three attempts to quit and never managed to stay clean for longer than 12 hours. And now it's gone, and now it's over. Good fucking job.
  4. A warning to people about the reality of doctors created an addiction - Part 1

    Disclaimer this is a very long personal story SWIM wanted to share on this subject. SWIM knows that some people who will read this have faced problems so much worse it is unimaginable to SWIM. SWIM has also read that many people come to this site after being prescribed similar medication to the ones SWIM use to take and that they want to know more about it. It is not swims intention to undermine or make lite of the topic or of people who have faced far worse. Despite it all this topic is...
  5. Dave is going to rehab - Part 20

    Dave thinks that the road to recovery can/will be different for everyone. He always thought that he was strong enough to say no, or that's enough. He also has said he would never put himself into a position where he had to stop his use. Well Dave wasn't strong enough, and he did put himself in that position. In Dave's IOP they don't stress the steps as much as finding a personal program that works for you. Dave figured that his program would doom him to failure, so he's trying a different...
  6. Dave is going to rehab - Part 19

    Just a quick update on my friend.Dave has had a good weekend, went to a couple meetings, no major problems to speak of. This is his last week of IOP, and though its a pain in the ass to get home at 10:00 every night, he will sorta miss the camaraderie. Sounds crazy considering he wasn't even sure about going, but he's learned alot about himself, and the disease of addiction. He's done for all intents a 180 on how he feels about NA, and hanging out in the rooms. For now he's gonna keep going...
  7. Dave is going to rehab - Part 18

    Thanks for that Sparky, its very true that closing those avenues and creating a "safe" haven (surrounding himself with people in active recovery) is whats best for Dave at the moment. Dave's biggest problem right now is giving up some of these long term relationships that that weren't necessarily using relationships, but these people do still use. But it has to be done and Dave can and will do it. Surrounding himself with recovering junkies is turning out to be easier than he thought, cause...
  8. Dave is going to rehab - Part 17

    Everything is going well here, it was a quiet long weekend(labor day) that was very uneventful. Dave's a little over halfway done with IOP, and learning things about his situation that are really helpful. He starts individual therapy soon also(at his IOP therapists suggestion), and it should be interesting. Dave will have two weeks tomorrow after his slip. Things seem to be getting easier as Dave is not thinking much into the future beyond tomorrow or the next day.Anyway thanks, more later....
  9. Relapsed...Moved on past the 18 month mark of recovery...Now what? - Part 21

    Re: Relapse....Now What From Here So its been like almost 3 months since Red Rock last updated this thread...He was going to let it die but oh well.... So things are going so fucking well...Coming up on 17 months clean now and still going strong. He has been experimenting with some RC's lately and doing some combinations of those and even got some Mephedrone (and surprisingly has found he has no urges to keep on dosing). He also got some 2c-t-2, 2c-e, and another friend ordered 2c-i so...
  10. Blah, frigs sakes.. swim wont lie..addicted to oxy - Part 1

    :s Okay, swim is going to be bold. She somehow, even though she found itbetter than codeine, got hooked on the oxy. and shes rattling hardcore now. Been 2 days, took 3 tylenol 3 today just to get some peace. Swims SO is leaving tonight for 2 months of work and she needed to be ok to be with him for tonight as shes lost without him and doesnt even wanna think about being without him..but its best, hes working to put money on a house for her and baby next spring:eek: aaaaaaaaaaand...sounds...
  11. Dave is going to rehab - Part 16

    Ok here we go...... Everything is good at the moment, Dave is straight, and shit is better than average. He's made an inordinate amount of money this week and has NOT spent it on drugs(cheers), so he's sorta feeling his oats.(Did he really say that) well guess so! He's had to take a piss test every night since his lapse in judgement, and hasn't gotten pissed off, cause he figured if he's gonna do this, theres no way but the right way. UT won today (thats college football for you brits),...
  12. Dave is going to rehab - Part 15

    Dave obviously had a problem staring his DOC down. SwiDT may be right about that being the hardest part about abstaining. If its not in front of Dave, it hasn't been a problem, but changing hard wired learned behavior seemed impossible at the time. Dave had his son come over and help him do a clean out of his vehicles, house, garage, crawlspace, and attic. This should have been done long ago, but Dave is a procrastinator. The shit they found surprised even Dave. Does this mean Dave's out...
  13. Finally doing it! - Part 37

    Re: SWIM is finally doing it! Hey guys ... SWIM just thought she'd add an update to this thread ... (noticed her last posting on this thread was way back in April, lots has happened since then ...), and she hasn't been on DF for a while either. Basically, SWIM had some really bad news in May: her Nan had just come out of hospital having had two cancerous lumps sucessfully removed from her breasts and then she collapsed at her home a few days later. It turned out she'd caught an infection...
  14. Dave is going to rehab - Part 14

    Dave feels bad about this and his only defense is that he wrote the previous post mon. night, couldn't post it due to connection problems, and then posted it without rereading it first. That's no fucking excuse and Dave apologizes. D and Dave have already worked this out via PM, but the truth of the matter is that Dave was irresponsible and should have handled the whole situation differently. So Dave is SORRY. After his mishap he has done well, and at the moment shit is good(dont worry its...
  15. Is this guy an alcohol addict? Help diagnose - Part 9

    ^^^ What can I say, I'm very happy to hear that judgement. But my friend has started to call himself "pre-borderline alcoholic" recently. Although it looks a bit like a self-fulfilling prediction to me. He was looking at a role that alcohol plays in his life and was looking that long at it, analysing every instance and every exposure, that it ultimately really started to look like a problem to him. He gets drunk from time to time, no doubt about it. And during almost all hot summer days...
  16. Dave is going to rehab - Part 13

    Dave's already done this in group, so here goes. Dave was cleaning out his truck tuesday afternoon, and lo and behold, he found a couple oxy 80s. He didn't tell anyone, he isolated himself and thought about how he should handle the situation. He went to IOP Tues. night, and didn't volunteer that he had them. Tues. after he got home he took them. Classic junkie behavior strikes again. Dave knows that he cannot continue to do this, and doesn't believe he would have sought this out. They were...
  17. Dave is going to rehab - Part 12

    Drd the time you take to help Dave is humbling, so thank you. Daves starting to figure some of his moods out, and why they are happening. For instance last night on the way home from therapy, Dave was listening to Shannon Hoon, then Kurt Cobain, these are usually triggers for Dave and he turns them off. Last night he didn't and by the time he got home he was in a foul mood. He was pretty sure what caused it, but after he ate a late dinner(around 11:00 PM) he was fine. Its seems whenever he...
  18. Dave is going to rehab - Part 11

    No revelations for Dave last night, but he found out that he was genetically predisposed to become an addict(junkie) due to his whole family being a bunch of old school alcoholics. This doesn't bother him, he already figured this out on his own. So where does Dave go from here? To a fucking meeting? He's sorta fucked up in the head right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Dave's still clean 3 weeks tomorrow, so that's what he will focus on. Good Thoughts:thumbsup:
  19. Oxycodone - The Monkey On My Back - Part 21

    SWIM is in Canada. The liquid swim got was from this lady in town who's daughters husband was on methadone maintenence and died and she had some leftover. And yeah sorry for glorifying drug use. Only have to wait till Thursday now to start SWIMs methadone treatment, he can't wait and is really happy to be getting off these damn pills. theswimmer added 2 Minutes and 1 Seconds later... SWIM said: also if this thread is not fitting for the recovery and addiction section please...
  20. Dave is going to rehab - Part 10

    Dave is not to fond of going to NA meetings, but at the moment he's going regularly. He can relate to most of the people there, but still has some problems with the cultishness of NA. Look Dave's not saying that NA doesn't work, he's saying that full blown membership is more than likely not for him. More than likely he will take what works for him and utilize that along with what he's learning in rehab(meditation, etc) and go from there. Well tonight's family night, so Dave's better half,...
  21. Dave is going to rehab - Part 9

    Thanks Drd and Avid, yes Dave is doing quite well, and rehab/therapy is working wonders for him. He's learning things about his problems that his shrink never touched on(Dave might have been a tad dishonest with him). He's also learning how he can overcome these situations without reverting to using the junk and alcohol that in one form or another has always been how he coped. Is Dave out of the woods? Certainly not, but this is the best he has felt about his situation since this started...
  22. Dave is going to rehab - Part 8

    Thank you ladies, well things couldn't be going better at the moment. Dave got to sleep 2 nights running. He's learning alot of good information that he will utilize in his recovery, and hopefully share here when he gets a minute. Dave has stopped isolating himself as much and started getting off his ass and doing positive things(for him). He thinks this could be a major reason he has had these ongoing problems. He is also coming up with a long term plan to stay sober. The first go around...
  23. Dave is going to rehab - Part 7

    @^ Drd its not step based but they want Dave to go to meetings as much as possible. It's going really well at the moment, Dave can type normal again(which is nice), and got 4 continuous hours sleep last night. Its been long enough now, with the sleep issue resolving itself, that Dave is starting to feel normal most of the time. As this gets further along Dave may be able to post some helpful info that could possibly benefit someone. More later Good Thoughts:thumbsup: rokman nash...
  24. Last Dose of Oxycodone [cold turkey, this should be fun] - Part 3

    Swim went to court this morning, and received a pre-trial date of Sept. 24th. He had to call a probation thing because his bond or whatever said "*no alcohol/illicit drugs must provide phone number to submit to random drug tests". first, when should he expect the first one? within a week??? also, this may help swim in his journey. HE was devastated to hear he would have to be tested. He uses all sorts of drugs for recreation, but opioids are his forte. Swim thinks if he has to submit to...
  25. Last Dose of Oxycodone [cold turkey, this should be fun] - Part 2

    Day 1 was very easy, he worked all day had a smoke and some drinks with a couple of friends, nothing more than a simple "wow oxycontin would make me more sociable and euhoric, ehhh oh well, I've got a goal. Day 2: No psychological withdrawals surprisingly, he was actually happy by then to be on the right track. Though swim got diarhea (very mild), which was actually quite a relief due to the constipation and hard stools from opioids. Day 3: minor constipation, but that passed, no other...
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