Journals

  1. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 42

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Dr D hands what he thought was his crown of leftfield to cuddlesthefox, bowing deeply in recognition of a true master of the "where did that come from?" statement. I shall bear the above in mind if ever my spirit starts to flag! Thank you for sharing! D Dickon added 1185 Minutes and 51 Seconds later... An electron is so small that you can't see it with your naked eye. However, I am promised by a reliable hobgoblin that on a particular electron that is definitely in my little...
  2. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 41

    My imaginary hypothetical-dream brother is almost half-way through his 14th day off drugs, thank you for asking. You can read all about his exploits on this thread, if you can understand his somewhat difficult style. It's like a jigsaw puzzle, the more pieces that fit together, the fewer pieces are left, and the easier it gets to finish, the nearer to the finish you are. My twin is saying start with the edges; I think he means get a plan in place, and in your own words get your game face on....
  3. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 40

    Hypothetically I dreamt that in a churchyard in a village near where I used to live, I met a man drinking vodka. He spoke the following in a language I didn't understand: Ilsa, sounds like you're doing really well. I'd just like to add I feel there's a kind of futility in striving for balance. I love extremes myself! I've had too much balance on the methadone, and now I want to live. I want to drive at 160mph on deserted road in a Lamborghini blaring loud music! I want to dance myself...
  4. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 39

    Thanks Dick, The same post went on three times, and I deleted one copy but then there was still a second copy on there. Blame Bill Gates not me. The damn computer won't upload a post, then I resend it and it makes copies. I've corrected this now, but thanks for the tip. I've just had a nice walk in the frosty dawn, and it's been 293 hours since I had anything to do with monkeys! 7 hours until the big 300 mark! Love to all D
  5. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 38

    Ilsa my friend, nice to see you in my virtual home!! Usual conditions apply: I dreamt a dream in which a Pink pig swallowed a much larger elephant and got thinner in the process. It was something of a paradox. He burped, and a bubble-elephant emerged who twittered in a strange sing song language the following: -- I think that if you can abstain from all mood altering drugs for 1 year - 18 months, not drink and not smoke, exercise well, and in particular do Yoga or Tai Chi, and meditate...
  6. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 37

    In a cemetery a corpse rises, travels backwards in time and starts proclaiming the following hypothetical dream in reverse polish notation (I have cut out the more obscure mathematical references in this dream), so that's why I state it explicitly in this oh-so-necessary caveat for the reader... Hi there Lobsang, Dick! Now, so long as you're not pointing that gun at me, let me say, you're telling it how it is Lobsang, that's what I'm doing, just not taking anything. But there's no particular...
  7. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 36

    In a galaxy far far away a distant relative of our nematode worm burped a 100,000,000 galaxies into existence, on which there is a small probabillity that someone is declaring in an as yet unheard language the following fabrication.... Don't worry about the meetings. I did plenty for the both of us, so I can always give you the NA party line filtered through an intelligent brain, and not at is it so often delivered, by morons. I don't know if you came across my "NA or not NA ..." thread....
  8. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 35

    The following is a hypothetical dream in which a terrapin swims backwards and speaks the following ancient magical spell designed to ward off the evils of over-zealous moderators on SWIMy case. GGrrrrr [teeth clenched, doing his best to manage a polite smile, and realizing that over-zealous moderators have good hearts and SMIDickon should really not get resentful, but acknowledging that feelings are feelings, and the fact that I was walking along earlier today imagining I was eviscerating...
  9. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 34

    Hypothetically... I think you'll be going through quite a few more highs and lows Dick before this thing settles down. If you're anything like me you'll be quite emotional, childish/like, happy one moment sad the next. I'm not sure if you've had any experience of post w.d.s. It will take a few months for the emotional volatility to die down, but the emotionally volatile time is one of great creativity. Well that's what I think. I'm really hoping that within another week I'll be getting...
  10. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 33

    I am terrified of Diphenhydramine because of the possible hangover effects. I've used promethazine, another sedating OTC anti-histamine with sometimes bad results; i.e. terrible hangover. Diphenhydramine has recently been voted number one torture drug at least twice in a thread on the subject; I wouldn't go that far but clearly it's not for everyone! I can handle the sleep-dep if I must, I just don't know if I could handle an antihistamine hangover. Anyway I can always sleep when I'm dead!...
  11. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 32

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ I might be lying when I say... WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Go boy go! I'm so glad you're getting that pink-cloud taxi away from junk-sickness! It's an inspiration to us all! How things have changed since our paths first crossed on here eh! It really is so much better doing it for ourselves. I totally agree. None of this "I can't we can" rot. How's about "I can. We can"? Far better! I just want to give you all the respect in the world and my thanks for being...
  12. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 31

    Ex cathedra disengenuensis .... (total gobbledegook Latin meaning that I do not accept responsibility for the following cautionary fantastic tale)... Hiya Buchan, Dick. It's so weird how we're all doing the same thing and yet we're all in such totally different places. The thought of work to me at the moment is just laughable!! I have no desire to work at a time like this. I've reached a whole new level of exhaustion today. My wife says I look tired in a totally new way! I think I...
  13. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 30

    A wandering minstrel somewhere could be singing..... Buchan, it's good to see you back. But you're going to have to quit DF? how come? Just because you'll be too Valiumed up to contribute, or because of something else. I'm really glad some of my ramblings made you laugh, the highest secondary purpose of all the above was to inspire/amuse/confuse/create thought/controversy etc. The primary purpose just being ANYTHING to keep me alive through these dark times. Looking back I think all in...
  14. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 29

    A gerbil was trained to say... I know I guess just talking kept my mind busy when I was in the worst clock-watching insomniac phase! So I just gave myself permission to talk about any- and every-thing. I think I've managed 3-4 hours sleep tonight so far and it's only 1.20am. I seem to be getting up about this time though. But it's all slowly coming together now. Most importantly yesterday my appetite started to include fruit and vegetables, which is a really good sign I think. You're over...
  15. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 28

    In a galaxy far far away a small gnome was muttering to himself the following..... I don't know if this will work for you, but it seemed to have a huge effect on my drinking, and that is mega-dose vitamin pills. I think I've read somewhere that it's one of the B-vitamines that's responsible. A lack of it makes one crave alcohol. I usually take this stuff with a pinch of salt, but when I stopped drinking on the last day I took my 5mg methadone, it was entirely effortless. And the days I'd...
  16. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 27

    I am Lucifer, the deceiver, mother of all lies, and I proclaim..... er...that's a bit strong. Oh that horrible rambling wannabe emo has right gone and lost the plot this time, think's he's Satan does he. Sad fucker. Er....but Lucifer would never announce himself thus, ergo I am not Lucifer,....except in the metaphorical-cum-literal sense of a Light-bringer. I hope in this sense I'm bringing my little torch into the darkness of addiction. One of my all time favourite motivational quotes is...
  17. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 26

    The following myth about an ex-junky is not among the oral traditions of any known Papua New Guinean Tribe..... Sleep. No. I pretty much gave that idea up just after midnight. I have just returned from a boiling hot bath, and guess what? It's half-past the hour!! Which means I can pencil in the first hour of day 7. Only 23 to go! Christopher (or do you prefer Chris or C or anything else? I don't mind Dickon or D], have a good chat and walk. My wife bless her just came down to make sure I...
  18. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 25

    Take no heed of this lying insomniac wannabe /emo rambler...... Yeah I thought it was something like that. It's so funny I'm going to embrace this, and become an emo / wannabe..... (It's a damn good thing I put that initial statement about lying in there).... Right I need some teaching if I'm going to be a decent emo - what is the most famous emo band. Seriously I will download one album and see if I could pass myself off as one. I've not got the right hair, with it being a 1/2 inch (1 cm)...
  19. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 24

    Maybe, but probably not..... D is getting about an hour or maybe two a night, usually in 15-30 minute chunks. This is my sixth night, and I've got about 15 minutes-30 minutes. I'm drinking tea and coffee, trying to reverse psychology the thing. Bear in mind I've not been drinking, smoking or using benzos, simply valerian pills and chammomile tea. So once I'm sleeping that's that. It's not that I'll have to cut the benzos out and go through another minor crisis. This is it. Hey, guess what?...
  20. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 23

    Somewhere somewhen someone could be thinking...... God: I've just got negative rep for this thread with this delightful comment: its obvious u are trying to be all wannabe arty / super emo - but plz try not to ramble so much everywhere on this forum After deleting my first highly angry and inappropriate response, all I can say is oh well, Ive been given a lot of positive rep points for obvious answers to questions, but the one valid contribution I think I've really made is this one. I...
  21. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 22

    Trust me for I lie.....and there is more truth in fiction than in fact... Christopher, how are you holding up? Winning? Losing? Drawing? Sculpting? Strumming? Using? Abusing? <yawns> It's good to have some company! Before you go, could you chose a random subject for me to talk about. Anything. lol. All the best Dickon Dickon added 2 Minutes and 6 Seconds later... You beat me to it. I was just going to offer you a friend request!
  22. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 21

    Lies all lies declared the lie ....so what are you going to believe.... Junket, the problem was the lack of shit I was smoking rolling snorting etc!! Christopherc, please don't read this if you're the jealous type - I did buy the Lambo. Pretty cheeply two. I sold it many years ago though, and today I was thinking how fun, and yet how dangerous in my present state it would be to go bombing round the countryside in the old beast. It was a 1992 LHD Diablo 2wd, if you want to know. The best...
  23. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 20

    Lies all lies....maybe..... Cuddles, welcome, I liked that "fave words" thing you started. I can't touch type but use I think 6 or 7 fingers. So I'm doing it slightly quicker than a two fingered typist. Also you mustn't underestimate the amount of time I spend here. It's one of the few things I can do to keep myself alive and up when my body will not move, and I'm exhausted beyond compare and can't sleep. It's so important for me to keep my spirits up, not to sink into a "fuck this it ain't...
  24. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 19

    D speaks, informing the world first in a slightly cross but dutiful way that hes is of course a pathological lier, Bucham, speak your truth! It's su much better to admit you want to use, than to bottle it up. That much I do know. I do not think this is one of those pieces of advice that only works for some people. I guess my determination could almost be annoying, because I am simply not going to use, no matter what. I am beaming that thought to you know, over the E.S.P.-net. Another piece...
  25. Screaming in the night air. Help emotional and technical for methadone withdrawal - Part 18

    Caveat Lector. All that follows must be taken with a good pinch of the proverbial salt.... No, sleep's not going to happen yet, so might as well make myself a cup of chammomile tea, and talk to the world whilst I drink it and then give bed one final try. 2.20 am is not really even approximately dawn, but I've half a mind to say to myself that it's now tomorrow, and that was all the sleep I'm getting (and trust me 1/2-1 hour is so much better than none!) I totally identify with the...
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