Journals

  1. Unhappy with Heroin/Crack - Longtime and Excessive Daily Usage - Need Support Please. - Part 1

    Someone who isn't me has been using way too much crack and heroin for the past 9 months. SWIM started using oxycodone for shits and giggles about 4 years ago. His dosage increased over time until he was taking between 70-100mg/day. And then one day, the supply ran completely dry. SWIM experienced the worst withdrawals of his life and got the not-so-bright idea to go get some street heroin to help ease the pain and ween off the oxy. The former was a success, but the latter certainly...
  2. Need help with staying off MDMA - Part 4

    SWIM managed two weeks and decided to drop again. Before this, he had been doing okay, but his friends were doing it and he gave in. This thread was actually of great importance at first to SWIM because it made SWIM feel like he'd be letting people down by doing it. Fortunately, he is actually very thankful for doing it. He had one of the most amazing experiences of his life and doesn't regret it one bit. He rolled with a few very close friends in a comfortable home environemnt and it...
  3. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 35

    Thanks Lisa:) Swim was on methadone for 6-7 months and never felt the turkey fully go away (one of his incentives to go cold turkey). He doesn't regret going on methadone as this gave Swim the chance to stop using heroin, which in Swims eyes heroin is 100x more addictive. Try DHC instead as this is a very short acting opiate. Use for 2 weeks max while off the methadone so the done is fully out your system,(you will still feel the turky a little but any opiate addict just does). This...
  4. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 34

    Swim felt that void in the first 2-6 days. He had negative thoughts all the time, panic attacks, paranoia. He even thought an orange was trying to kill him when he ate it, "the pips they're their to chock me"!! lol A lot of negative thoughts happen and this can make things worse. I read a small paper book called "thoughts that heal". My Mum picked it up at the hospital in the sanctuary. Basically you need to think positively and this can heal the body quicker. Now this is almost...
  5. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 33

    Well that's over one full week and Swim feels so great within himself. He has been following Dr. David Arneson's advice on supplements and diet and knows this has made all the difference. As they say you are what you eat! Swim has most of the supplements now, only 2 more he wants to come, both ordered now. L-Methionineshould come today, melatonin might take a week as this is illegal in the UK. Still feel weak but so much more positive. Today will start a little exercise. Need to keep...
  6. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 32

    The sex drive will come back, tell him how much you loved being with him that way and give as much support as you can. Swim was on 120mg methadone he tapered till he got to anything from 80 max to 30mg in a day depending on how he felt. No subutex or benzos were used at all. Dr's wont help they don't want to help they make the government money out of our suffering. Let him know this and he might find it in himself to kick it. Swims last dose was 80mg when he realised tapering, all...
  7. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 31

    Thanks sweetsugar :) Swim had a few terrible days, 3rd day got a bit panicky and went to the Hospital and got some DHC 8 30 mg tabs. This was a silly thing to do. He used them within 2 days then that night had a panic attack and his Mum called the hospital, an ambulance was sent round but they couldn't even talk to him while Swim ended up in his own wee world having muscle spasms. He thinks coming off the GBL had something to do with this. Day 4 ended up in A&E at 7am discharged at 12....
  8. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 30

    Re: Heroin! It never gives, it always takes, takes, takes. You become a shadow of the person you once were. You lie so as not to 'hurt' those close to you, in the end you're lying to cover the lies you've told - you no longer have contact with your old friends, you have new friends who aren't friends at all just 'people you know', people who in the normal scheme of things you would never have anything to do with, people you cannot honestly trust and who would rip you off in a second, you...
  9. Need help with staying off MDMA - Part 3

    SWIM hit up the pharmacy looking for piracetam, rhidiola rosea and 5-HTP but couldn't find any of it. Is this the right place to be looking? I guess it won't really matter that much if SWIM manages to stay clean anyway but I guess the main challenge now is getting through this weekend clean as he has a big one planned. He bought some DXM & bud to hopefully get him through the nights but is not sure if he will be able to resist when the time comes.
  10. Need help with staying off MDMA - Part 2

    Re: SWIM needs help w staying off E SWIM says thanks alot for the advice. SWIM is very sure of his sources and know that his pills contain no meth and is sure his addiction is not physical, but that doesn't make it any easier to get over. About the 5-HTP, in his area SWIM can not seem to find ayn readily available. SWIM will definitely look into the other things you suggested though (piracetam, Rhodiola Rosea) and will let you know how things go. Anyway, SWIM recently forced himself to...
  11. Need help with staying off MDMA - Part 1

    SWIM thinks he is addicted to E. The first time he tried it was roughly 7 months ago and ever since he has never rolled less than 3 times a month, sometimes up to 7 or 8 times in a single month. At first it was fine. He would feel fine, if not better the next day after his first few rolls. He felt like a changed man, like a better person. Slowly but surely, his rolls lost value and he was just doing it for the buzz. There was no longer a spiritual side to the rolls and SWIM started wondering...
  12. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 29

    Swim detoxed from 30mg to 15mg to 10mg to that last dose of 5mg and feels great no withdrawals. He has some Xanax for the anxiety and some GBL/GHB as a mood stabilizer so depression is non existent. He doesn't feel any cold Turkey symptoms. Swim was on 120mg of methadone and it took a month to get off it and it was totally pain free. Its all in the head me thinks mind over mater. I have never felt better coming off methadone. Its an evil drug made by the government and its made to get...
  13. I've been clean from crack for (almost) 60 days! - Part 1

    I can't freakin believe it! altough i am a stunch athiest, I decided that I needed some help from some people who knew something about being clean and sober; ovbiously somethign I had no clue about. I did everything asked of me and this saturday will be my 60th clean day. I am like a whole new person; I can take a piss test and not worrying about it being dirty! that's like the neatest thing on earth to me. I have been hitting meetings [Presumably NA/AA meetings - Dickon] pretty hard, i...
  14. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 28

    Hi again, Swim is down to 30mg of Methadone now from 120mg yay:D. Swim is going to see the Dr next tuesday and will try to get down to 20mg for that day and then Swim hopes he will put me on a months tapper of Subutex then Swim will be free at last! :D Swim has no more opiate cravings and knows this times he will be clean :) Thanks everyone thats helped :vibes: Swims Dr put Swim back up again after seeing him to 115mg. Don't think the Dr's will help, most don't want to as they are...
  15. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 27

    That really brought tears to swims eyes when he read that, a lot. Thanks very much. Swim is going through hell just now because now he is on 60mg of meth heroin gets him high again. Swim is trying as hard as he can not to buy "that bag" And will give the doc a clean sample tomorrow. The Doctor says swim needs to be on 30mg of meth before he can go on subutex. Why can't he just put me on it now? Some guy on here was on 120mg meth and he was able to go on subutex?:S Many thanks to all. :)
  16. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 26

    They put Swim back on 60mg of meth grrrr. Swim wants to come of this nasty evil methadone cos it make him feel crap. He's going to See the doc on the 28th and hand in a clean sample and ask to reduce to 30mg over 4 weeks so that would be 5mg per week. Swim could do it much faster but they don't like that. It really puts Swim in a bad mood and I feel so terrible that my lovely mum has to put up with my shite. :( I've heard about so many people feeling great on subutex. I can't wait to be...
  17. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 25

    Re: Heroin! SWILisaJ what dose of methadone works for you? An increase of 5mg per week seems quite slow, Swims Dr put him up by 15mg per week. SWIM is on 90mg's and finds that holds him fine they did want to put him up to 100mg's but SWIM will be coming off one day and the less the better in that case. SWIM still suffers from anxiety on the methadone, he thought it would chill him out more but that's not the case. SWIM still uses street Valium for anxiety a few times a week, benzos and...
  18. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 24

    Re: Heroin! They wont give you a script if you tell them you still want to take heroin, when swim had his first appointment he said to the doctor he was disappointed he never got high from his last hit the night before she said that swim isn't ready to get a script if he's still looking for a high. Swim was kicking himself for saying that to the doctor as swim can't go on living like this anymore, yes swim loves to get fucked up but whatever you do don't tell them that if you want a...
  19. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 23

    Re: Heroin! Swim is on a 0.9 of a gram a day habit, he buys from a dealer that only sells in 0.9 of a gram, 1/16ths and 1/8ths. Swim was silly by thinking he was getting a great deal when all he was doing was making his habit 10 times worse. Swim would buy an 1/8th (3.5grams = 30 bags) thinking he was saving loads of money and it would last him ages when it would be gone within 3 days.. Thats 10 bags a day, all in his veins:O Before swim found this dealer he was only on a bag or 2 a day....
  20. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 22

    Re: Heroin! Swim suffers from chronic pain and has an appointment at the department of chronic pain on the 18th but swim is going on methadone on the 11th the week before. Lisa J what is your pain caused from? How long have you been on fentanyl for? Also can they have you on many different pain meds at the same time? Like can they put me on methadone and other strong pain meds at the same time? Swim and swiLisa J seem to have similar problems, heroin addiction and chronic pain.
  21. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 21

    Re: Heroin! Thanks Lisa J:) Have they asked you to keep a drugs diary? Swim wishes you the best of luck too. Madpad swim knows 40ml wont hold him as he has taken 50ml first thing in the morning and still had to top up with heroin, he just doesn't want to travel in every day for 3 weeks when he's feeling withdrawn and might be tempted to buy heroin to stop the withdrawals as they can test you at any point and if you come up with a heroin positive sample that's one strike and its 3...
  22. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 20

    Re: Heroin! Swim had his appointment today at the CDPS and it went well, they are giving swim a methadone script next tuesday. They said they will start swim of with 40ml of methadone on that day. Swim will have to wait there for 2 hours and if swim is still withdrawing they will increase it by 10-20ml every hour. Swim is going to stop all opiates on the sunday so he is withdrawing bad so he doesn't have to go in every day and will hopefuly be put on enough on that day as he knows 40ml...
  23. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 19

    Re: Heroin! Swim has an appointment next tuesday, he has done a 2 week drugs diary for the CDPS and hopes thats enough to get him on a script. Swim will cry if she says he has to wait any longer, he just can't take it anymore. He's been taking 50ml of street meth a day so he doesn't have to take as much heroin, maybe 2-3 shots on top of that. I hope they see that I'm taking the meth so I dont need to take as much heroin and not for an extra high as the Dr said if she thinks swim is...
  24. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 18

    Re: Heroin! Swim wishes the best for you and hopes swiLisa J sticks to the 12 day detox. English T you are a great member to this site with loads of information, swim wishes he could leave you feedback but he can't yet. Keep up the good work of helping people as your great at it. Maybe when your off the methadone you could be a drugs councillor as you have the knowledge about the highs and lows of heroin.
  25. Help me escape from Heroin addiction - Part 16

    Re: Heroin! SWIM has fucked up big time in the last few days and just hopes she can get a clear head again and think about quitting, she really hopes she will post again with a more positive picture. Lisa J, Swim doesn't want to be rude but you've kinda hijacked swim's thread. Swim does find your posts interesting but SwiLisa J you should have really started your own thread. All the best.
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