rapter, addiction has got to be one of life's hardest challenges. Getting to the place where it's obvious to us (the addicted) is a gigantic first and essential first step. You've done that. Excellent!
Next, it's generally recommended to figure how to stay sober for only the day upon awakening. Be concerned about that day only. Each day following will take care of itself. Consider starting a journal right here at DF, it's incredibly helpful to be accountable to the readers and to review your own journey.
You can do this, do it now. Hugs and kisses to you.
I've been clean of opiates for a year and a month and 2 days. No booze 4 months today. I slipped 36 hours on alcohol, otherwise my sober dates would match. I'm happy to say the slip wasn't so devastating that I had to start from a head and body place that felt like a year and a month ago, my first sober day after years of opiates and alcohol. Thank God for that!
My husband knew all about the struggle with oxy, but we didn't talk about the alcohol. My drunk binges occurred away from home, on solo get-a-ways, or on the rare occasion I would be home alone a day or two. I told him everything about the alcohol and how upset I was to relapse after 10 months. His response was tender, loving, and supportative. It was such a relief and a tension that had me strung tight vanished.
I withheld the truth for the reasons we all do it. But it's true, sharing the burden makes it so much easier. In my world, AA is where I shared and got sober for 12 years, lo those many years ago. Being frank with other addicts is vital, while our loved ones can care deeply, unless the're a recovering addict, they don't get it. They can't.
So currently, I feel stable and have zero desire to use. But I know that feelings pass.
Tomorrow might be different. Still, using feelings or cravings pass as well, and that's very good news.
Side note: I gained a ton of weight this year but have lost more than I started with by doing a juice 'Reboot with Joe', after watching 'Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead'. I feel amazing and my insomnia has resolved!! I only have a single cup of tea in the morning and no more caffeine the rest of the day.
Stay strong. Stay well. Do it for one day at a time.