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  1. Screaming and raging behind the stone wall,

    Fighting, and crying until there's nothing left at all.

    Angry at the way I was born,
    Angry at how I was left all alone.
    Angry for the drugs you fed me,
    Angry with the way you left me.

    Feeling the fear deep inside, when I woke up alone in the middle of the night.
    Feeling the hate ringing in my ears, at how it affected YOU all these years.

    Rage at where you left me for it to happen all again,
    Rage at how I couldn't tell you that they sold me in sin.
    Rage that I soon realized that this life was my fate,
    Rage at myself when I didn't cooperate.

    Fury for the list that goes on and on,
    Of all the reasons and reasons the doctors said I was wrong.
    Fury at all the things they would say,
    Hoping one day someone would take me away.

    Fast forward many years ahead,
    Fast forward to all the memories now in my head.

    I never forgot, I never escaped, all I learned to do was numb the hate.

    Years pass by so quickly, numbing everything so blissfully.

    Alone is always how I stand, no one to ever just hold onto my hand.

    Now the time has come to look anger in the face, it never stopped growing, only started exploding, no longer slowing by the drugs I take.

    Imploding at every turn, with every new thing to learn, that was his birth, a life not to last on this earth, while we both sit there alone, in a room for 100 days with nothing but scorn, wondering always, why we were ever born.


  1. Mingo123
    Fantastic release of pent-up emotion on to paper - serious talent!
  2. Somewhere in the middle
    Thanks @Kathy1221 it's really mediocre. I've read better.
    I can't do the "dear diary... today I.." journaling, so I'm trying something new.
  3. JaneGault
    Continue your journal. Continue it for yourself, not for reaction. Journaling is brave and intimate. It takes courage, but is redemptive.

    I started a journal an have not had added to it as it stirs my emotions a bit too much presently.

    Add to it when you feel capable and know that it will serve you well when you review it. You will go from, "What was I thinking?" to "That was profound."

    Turn off comments if that is helpful. Do not let comments influence your journal. Journaling is all about you. Selfishness is OK here as long is it does not harm others.

    I believe journaling may be of great benefit to you. If not on DF, in a secret notebook that you can keep privately.

    Consider it, online or privately, I believe it will be helpful.

  4. ResearchWorldwide
    Penzu.com Is a great journal for writing and locking your pieces, if that is where you want to hide your art work.
    By the way great emotion in these paragraphs.
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