1. Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
    PLEASE HELP

Alcohol Addiction Journals

Post your recovery Journal for community support, advice and tracking progress.

  1. Times enemy

    When our lives are spinning out of control and all the pocket watches passing by us never slow Do we see the warnings floating by or are we moving to fast to see with our little eyes? Can't stop Can't sleep Can't feel Can't think. When our excuses are feeding the diseases and the hands on the clocks are counting down seasons Do we know which way is up or down or are we lost to everything and everyone around? Can't stop Can't sleep Can't feel Can't think. When our motives are driving in...
  2. Au Revoir

    In conclusion.
  3. A New Life is Born-Addicted to Life: One month Celebration

    i reached a month in my sobriety journey, its not my first month, but a month that was very difficult to reach. very exciting day. Today was pretty important, and yet very shocking, a relapse a couple of weeks ago was very close to accuring. It would of changed my entire future. Thank god im hear though. im understanding my god more and more everyday. im paying attention more, because it shows itself too me if i notice, and i do more often then not, but im paying more attention because at...
  4. Just flew past the 30 day mark..

    I remember once reading that the first 30 days tend to be the most difficult to get through. Physically, mentally and spiritually you are battling to get yourself back to a neutral level. Having just ticked over the 30 day mark I can say without a doubt that it definitely only gets easier with time.. I think the first 1-2 weeks were somewhat challenging if anything (with cocaine anyway) but it really does come down to your mindset, determination and ability to just say enough is enough....
  5. A new life is born-Addicted to life: Restarting & Fighting spirit

    So I'm back, and I came with a new insight that I didn't have prior to this. I'm not perfect, nobody walking this earth surface is, that's a tough pill that I had to swallow in my life. Its not just me, I feel like deep down everyone wants to be perfect, not making a mistake, always being on time, always doing everything correctly. But that's not a possibility, I have to learn how to get over it. Its not a big deal, just something hard to deal with. I'm so not perfect that I had relapses...
  6. Nobody

    Nobody who saw me at a bar would ever know. They'd never know that while I'm sitting there sucking down jumbo margaritas through a straw, I'm really dreaming of pleasure boats and 19th century Canton. They'd never know that, in my heart, I'm really reclining on a low bed of carved teak, bathed in the glow of a silver-covered lamp, kissing the jade mouthpiece of an opium pipe. They'd never know my sadness at the inability of the modern world to appreciate such things. People go to bars to...
  7. addicted to life: day 20 work,work,work. i want it easy!!

    yeah everyday is work, yeah its awesome. But sometimes i just want shit to be easy honestly, sometimes i just wanna be there already, sober, with years of clean time, money, a successful happy life, and a very loving family, with no problems only complete udderly wierd happyness. But nope, everyday is work, and every new day is work. Sure i can take time off, but then what? im bored, and im using so id rather not. But i could take time off and do other fun stuff, yeah but then where the hell...
  8. Addicted To Life Day 17-19 Progression

    Reality hit me today for the first time while i was sober. I was watching a movie and the thought of being able to reproduce life came to my mind. The thought we as species on this earth can come together and create life is incredible, the thought that life is so random that we really dont have much of a say in what gender the baby will be, or how many babies will be produced at once. The qualitys that baby will have, is crazy how that new life is put together. Life is incredible. We have...
  9. 10 Positives

    Looking at the bright side, here are 10 Positives to giving up motorcycle riding: 10. Expenses, maintenance and insurance. 9. Cleaning, no more washing, polishing. 8. More room in garage. 7. Fewer trips for fuel (no worrying about getting a drop of fuel on the tank paint). 6. Lifetime supply of bungees, bandanas and baby wipes on hand. 5. Clothing, I can leave the house without denim or leather and wear girl shoes! 4. No more weather watching, rain will no longer keep me under an...
  10. Hanging up my helmet

    The realization that I need to give up motorcycle riding is clear. My vision is poor, I can no longer lift my bike and my reflexes are waning. Time to give it up. I am very concerned that this will lead me back to the bottle. This will be a major lifestyle change for me, and it is scary. How will I replace the rush? Some of you will understand, others will not. I know my decision is for the best, it just doesn't make it any easier. I can do this.
  11. Title about titles.

    Here's where this was before borking: It's all about language. It's all about narrative. And it's all about what that does to your own expectations, and the expectations of others. Bill W. was a bit of a con-artist, even AA will admit, and stole his twelve-step ideas (from the Oxford Group); but holy shit did he create an unstoppable steam-roller, crushing individuals under a new cultural mythos, full of new terms, slogans, acronyms, chants and stories. Especially stories. Everyday tens...
  12. Addicted To Life Day: 16 Energies

    What type of energy are you projecting today? double check, seriously! are you negative, are you positive, are you loving? are you hating? are you absorbing? what is your energy today expelling? If you walk around with a negative attitude, saying to yourself you cant do something for whatever petty excuse you've seemed to make up. What do you think is mostly likely going to happen, do you honestly believe that, if you think you cant do something, your going to get it done? How, how do you...
  13. Addicted To Life: Day 15 Falls Just Mean Get Back Up

    so ive been involved with this battle of drugs for a very long time, as of right now its been about 2-3years. Though im still relapsing, im not quiting, theres nothing worse then quitting on yourself, that dissappointing feeling you get will follow you around for the rest of your life. For me, the dissapointment is just as bad a feeling as the guilt, and the shame, and id give anything to stay away from those two feelings, fact is id give anything to a normal functioning person in the world....
  14. Addicted To Life Day 14: The Persuading Inner Voice

    We all hear it im assuming, if you havent yet, your either lying to yourself, purposely pretending thats not real, calling it your own voice, or your just not really a human being. We all have heard it before. we walk around all day and that voice speaks to us, telling when to do something, not to do something, dont touch the flames it'll burn and it'll be hot. The voice is with us always. It even follows us around every where, thats why we really cant get away with anything even though we...
  15. Addicted To Life Day 13: Triggers Are Everywhere....

    Every where i look now i see a trigger, music, tv shows, kids tv shows, movies, commercials, clubs, bars, there arent many places that i dont see a trigger anymore. I guess its my own fault most of the time because i seem to always put myself in situations that are triggering for me. But sometimes i cant help it, i get curious, and then from my curiousity i explore further, and then before you know it im waist deep in my addiction, whether im doing drugs or not, my addiction is being fed....
  16. Addicted To Life Day 12: Not Long To Live

    I woke up with a disturbing dream on my mind. It was about the end of the world, the end of civilization as we knew it. could you imagin, as im typing this chapter, or as you're reading this, a huge rapture begins to take people, or even worse, say a meteor collides with our planet killing 85 percent of civilization and hell on earth begins? That was pretty much my dream that i had, and im a very spiritual individual, i believe theres energies and being who can communicate with people here,...
  17. Addicted to life: day 11 Bigger Influence then drugs

    My little sister walks in the house and i instantly know shes high. Of course i say a small comment about how i can tell shes high because as soon as she walked in the house i could smell her, it was that same arouma every weed smoker has after they get done smoking, if you smoked weed before, or ever been around people who've smoked weed before, then you already know what smell im talking about. My mindset was instantly going into telling her to cut that shit out, but she had company with...
  18. Addicted too life: Day 10 triggering loved ones

    The fight with addiction is a tough one that we as addicts face in our day to day lives. The most challenging, life threating battle we will ever face. Its not just one day, victory, fights over, its one day, victory, the next day, and whether we win or lose that day is really ultimately up too us, but the same as yesterday, the battle will always continue tomorrow. The fight is easier if you find people in your life who can help support you in this long, tiring journey, but the same can be...
  19. Addicted to life: a new life is born Day 9 relapses

    Its was so fitting for the situation, as i woke up in the morning, i woke up in the dark, alone, and to the heavy rain outside. I also woke up to day one. So im back facing day one. the day nobody wants to come back and face. But im glad it happened though, because this relapse taught me that, more than just alchohal theres people and lifestyles that i have too cut off in order too be successful in this journey. I wont lie, i got cocky, i remember me saying "yeah i can go out, but im not...
  20. Addicted to life Day 8: ferociousness of the beast, and understandings

    addicted to life day: 8 ferociousness of the beast, and understandings As the thunder storm wales outside, the beast Amanda Kelley inside of me continues to get stronger, only this time not because im feeding her with addictions but because im remaining sober, and she knows with everyday i remain sober, thats another day closer to her new life. Its raining outside now, perfect for writing this. a loud thunder strike just shook me, and another thunder crackle just woke me up officialy. i...
Loading...