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Amphetamines R&A Journals

Post your recovery Journal for community support, advice and tracking progress.

  1. Since Saturday

    Today is Thursday, marking my 6th day clean. I've had a couple of cravings but I was able to keep my mind off of it by my work. I've been a little tired but I know that will get better with time.
  2. A new life is born-Addicted to life: Restarting & Fighting spirit

    So I'm back, and I came with a new insight that I didn't have prior to this. I'm not perfect, nobody walking this earth surface is, that's a tough pill that I had to swallow in my life. Its not just me, I feel like deep down everyone wants to be perfect, not making a mistake, always being on time, always doing everything correctly. But that's not a possibility, I have to learn how to get over it. Its not a big deal, just something hard to deal with. I'm so not perfect that I had relapses...
  3. New life

    Today marks 2 days and I'm a little tired but I'm holding up! I'm on this path beacause I just don't get any enjoyment out of it anymore, a much needed change is in order. I'm glad I'm alive and well.
  4. Overthinking.

    Today I am going to touch the question that has been hounting me for years since I myself became a parent (Not the ideal one, I guess, but I am trying). Years ago on this forum was a thread with a question along these lines (Can not remember correctly): "Would you let your children get known to the drugs, be informed about your past and what would you say if you caught them using?" I guess, then I replyed something like that I would let them try every substance aviable and then decide by...
  5. I Quit

    I was supposed to quit yestedy but I didn't. Today I woke up, flushed my stash and quit. It shouldn't be too hard to do since I have been getting a full nights rest. Wish me luck!
  6. Birthday, thoughts, bipolar disorder....

    That time of the year again. This birthday I was really positively suprised. I guess, I have had at least some positive impact to other peoples lives, because I unexpectadly get personal birthday wishes from people I really did not expect. I thought that it will be just one of these years when most of the people I know pretends that I do not exist, except few of my best friends. I guess, my attempts to do good things just because I like doing them and expecting of and giving from myself the...
  7. Putting down the pipe

    I feel really bad about my self today. I don’t want to do this shit anymore. So, im putting down the pipe in 3 days. I will have 2 days off to sleep and recouperate. I’m going on vacation in 2 weeks and I want to be clean for that. The dope is just not doing it for me today.
  8. Later that night.

    Later At the end of the night, I find myself racing home to give it another go. It’s midnight and everyone is in bed. Perfect! I’m alone in my own bathroom. The first thing I do is pull my reagent test out and put a small crushed piece in the tube adding the reagent drops and shake it up. It sizzles, which is alarming but It does test positive for methamphetamine, I’m cautiously optimistic. I only say this because I know that ISO or one of iso’s cousin n -methyl benzylamine and n-ethyl...
  9. Birthdays, being bipolar and trying to stay clean

    That time of the year again... I don`t even know why I feel the most depressed around my birthday. It is not even like having typical birthday blues, I guess. Feels like there is some kind of physiological stuff involved like recharging of all hormones and stuff each year or whatever. Actually I have no clue.I am just having one of the worst mixed episodes I have had in years and I am doing my best of trying to stay clean, because I understand that self medicating at the moment will make it...
  10. Wow not sure how many days now but past the 14 days I know that

    Hi all who read this. Life is still amazingly awesome. I've just been in hospital due to a migraine which I've got a history of, and believe it or not the fact I'm even writing this tonight is unreal. See I usually end up knocked out for 2 full days at least after a hospital visit, by ambulance I might add, which I totally always hated. But for the very first time it took less drugs to rid me of my migraine and I bounced and I mean literally bounced out of the hospital 4 hours after arriving...
  11. Fuck it

    I must say life is much more interesting when I'm not falling out on opiates and combining them with far too many other downers and waking up wasting the high covered in vomit flipping out about getting more. But really, what did I take when I funded and scored heroin? Speed or coke. without fail. And now that I'm using a lot of psychedelics, ketamine, pcp, 3meopcp and most of all some meth and regular amphetamines it's gotten a lot more interesting and a lot more insightful. There is so...
  12. Love Life

    Firstly I don't have any concerns over any cravings as I don't believe in addictions. I believe it's all in the mind and I proved this to myself by quitting smoking then meth after doing both for over 20 yrs, so easily. I've survived the deaths of 2 sons, my 3 yr old murdered on Boxing Day 2002 and my 16 yr old ran over by a cops daughter on a phone, driving a defected car on 18/11/2005. I live in between where both were killed. I've survived 9 yrs in a domestic violence relationship which...
  13. addicted to life: day 20 work,work,work. i want it easy!!

    yeah everyday is work, yeah its awesome. But sometimes i just want shit to be easy honestly, sometimes i just wanna be there already, sober, with years of clean time, money, a successful happy life, and a very loving family, with no problems only complete udderly wierd happyness. But nope, everyday is work, and every new day is work. Sure i can take time off, but then what? im bored, and im using so id rather not. But i could take time off and do other fun stuff, yeah but then where the hell...
  14. 12 days clean after 20 years of using on a daily basis

    Wow what can I say? Life is awesome and some..... I sometimes wondered if I would ever get to this point and now I'm here all I can say is I feel amazing, utterly amazing....... I finally for the last time quit meth forever 12 days ago. I can in all honesty say I'm never ever going to touch it or any drug again (except aspirin or what the hospital give me for my migraines which if I'm being honest I think will not come back anyway). Straight is awesome. I'm completely loving my life at the...
  15. Addicted To Life Day 17-19 Progression

    Reality hit me today for the first time while i was sober. I was watching a movie and the thought of being able to reproduce life came to my mind. The thought we as species on this earth can come together and create life is incredible, the thought that life is so random that we really dont have much of a say in what gender the baby will be, or how many babies will be produced at once. The qualitys that baby will have, is crazy how that new life is put together. Life is incredible. We have...
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