Cannabinoids Addiction Journals

Post your cannabis / cannabinoid recovery Journal for community support, advice and tracking progress.

  1. Clean 2 weeks

    And a 2 weeks he’ll it’s been. Couple things happened, most significantly a problem with main plug leading me to say deuces, and starting a new, high paying job with a contractor on military bases requiring a personal cleanup, and after a rather hard winter the cash is a godsend and I can’t let dope screw it up. My first big check I was SO tempted to call other people around and find a bag. I know I’d immediately begin a several day binge and eventually crash hard which a 6 day, 12...
  2. Cold turkey starts tomorrow

    I've prepared myself for tomorrow by doing or getting the following things: Deleted my dealers numbers along with any texts or other ways of getting weed Gave myself something to do for most of the day sleeping tablets (no sleepless nights helps a lot) Have an exercise plan for tomorrow when I feel restless Told all my friends I'm busy and can't be around them until I've completely kicked the habit Wash lots of clothes (gets sweaty) Banned from having physical cash (card only!) I know...
  3. Cannabis detox

    So I have been smoking since all happened spring 2018. I started to smoke at night, a couple of puffs From a joint, weed only, no poison in my body please. It worked very well: instant relaxation. I havent been able to relax for over 20 years despite all kinds of medication, meditation and all other kinds of therapies and activities. But it became more and more. When I woke up at night to go to the toilet, I took the opportunity to lite a joint. Since I thought it wasn’t very economical to...
  4. Wild ride,what's to be expected

    Hey DF peoples. It's been a long time for me since I have wrote in this journal. In one word to describe my life since I started using again has been "unmanageable". I quit my job., Lost my place, been turned down for my share of rehabs ( one cost 31,000$$$ a month WTH.... Been bakeracted twice , almost killed by the cops one of those times. I started smoking meth again on my 90th day/night clean off meth (not totally sober). On October 27 it started with two hits of acid that...
  5. The beginning.

    Well I’ll take a stab at finally doing this, after only pretty much lurking on the forums for years. I can’t say my present day addictions are purely or even directly the result of conditions during my childhood, but there’s always this nagging feeling that it’s at least partially true, even when I’m at my most honest, down to the level stage with myself...I know I’m not just trying to manipulate my own mind into believing lies in order to get what it wants. There is no way I ever...
  6. The beginning.

    Well I’ll take a stab at finally doing this, after only pretty much lurking on the forums for years. I can’t say my present day addictions are purely or even directly the result of conditions during my childhood, but there’s always this nagging feeling that it’s at least partially true, even when I’m at my most honest, down to the level stage with myself...I know I’m not just trying to manipulate my own mind into believing lies in order to get what it wants. There is no way I ever...
  7. Can stay off of ketamine, developed a cannabis habit though :(

    Since that terrible episode in april im smoking more and more cannabis. I started smoking to come down from the mania and to help with sleep, which worked well in the beginning. But now I hardly get stoned anymore but I keep on smoking more and more... already went to doctor, he forwarded me to addiction treatment center. Ketamine I hardly use anymore. I still have very vivid dreams on it, even in sub-anaestetic dosages but I have seen what I needed to see I guess.
  8. Quitting marijuana days 38-42

    Things are started to get better, it’s still not easy but I am seeing improvements and so are my friends/family. I had a big test yesterday as I went to start my car in the morning and the battery had totally gone, it wouldn’t start, I had lots of plans but had to wait for 2 hours for a recovery truck to turn up, then it would jump start but the battery was totally finished (lasted ten years) I had to go to a garage and spend quite a bit getting a new battery, the good thing is I kept my...
  9. Quitting marijuana days 32-37

    Well it’s been a tough few days with one good day in the mix since I last posted in my journal. While I’m writing this I’m having a crappy day where I feel terrible so I guess that might influence this entry a bit. My emotions feel all over the place, anxiety/depression/paranoia seem to dominate most of my days. I just feel so spaced out a lot of the time like I am in a trance, I can tell my brain has took a huge battering from those 9 years of heavily smoking pot, my mind just feels...
  10. Quitting Marijuana days 25-31

    Have to be honest and say most of these days I’ve felt like my brain is so lethargic, feel like a lost sad feeling, I’ve had some moments (like few hours) where I have felt more positive, more energy and better but overall it has been tough. I feel I over think every little thing, I’m quite anxious and paranoid, plus my sleep is still not good but I would say it’s improved slightly, I get 5-6 hours sleep. I seen the doctors today and bloody hell the doctor I seen was difficult, he really did...
  11. Quitting Marijuana days 21-24

    Well after a very positive 20th day the next 4 days haven’t been great but not unbearable. I’ve still been finding it difficult to fall asleep, usually takes me 1-3 hours to fall asleep then sometimes I wake up early and can not get back to sleep. My melatonin 1mg pills have turned up in the post today so hopefully they will help but I know Sir dabathin on these forums said I should not use them everyday? Does anyone know if that’s correct? I bought them as I read they are not addictive or...
  12. Quitting marijuana day 19-20 - Good signs!

    Day 19 was a lot like days 17-18, feeling extremely fatigued, depressed, anxious, wasn’t a good day really but I carried on BUT day 20...was an awesome day! I took a zopliclone 3.75mg tablet the night before so sleep like a baby for 10 hours, I actually woke up with a lot of anxiety but had a cup of tea, got up had a wash etc it eased up a bit, went out to meet a girl I’ve been seeing had a nice day with her (still felt a bit odd/anxious/clouded mind) but she was very nice and seemed to...
  13. Day 17-18 Quitting Weed - Extreme Fatigue

    These two days have been pretty tough to be honest but not in craving weed, more with the depression/brain fog/anxiety/fear/paranoia symptoms, they have been going through the roof these two days, I’m still not really getting a proper good nights sleep, more like broken up sleep where it takes me few hours to drop off then I wake up at times through the night and morning. As in the title I am also feeling extreme fatigue, it’s like I feel exhausted all the time, once it gets to the evening...
  14. Day 15-16 - Quitting Marijuana

    Been two pretty bad days to be honest, both days I’ve had bad sleep and my days have been filled with depression, anxiety, paranoia and just don’t feel any joy in anything really. I have to say I can see why people relapse as life just feels really depressing and dull at the moment but I think it is because you’re mind has to repair, the insomnia can drive you crazy though, it’s tough.
  15. Day 13-14 quitting marijuana

    Well it’s been two totally opposite days. Day 13 was absolutely horrible, i had severe anxiety, depression and really bad headaches all through the day. I just felt completely miserable the entire day and wasn’t good company to be around at all. Day 14 was way better, I had a good sleep the night before after taking a Zopiclone pill, I woke up feeling way less anxious and down, I went to see my aunty uncle and cousin, my sister was there also and I had a good evening really enjoyed catching...
  16. Day 12 - Quitting weed

    Today has been a mixed day, I actually got to sleep within an hour last night but I woke up a lot in the early hours of the morning and found it tough to get back to sleep which was annoying. I felt really crap when I got up, heavy head, brain fog, anxious, fed up and felt that way through most of the day to be honest, I went to the park for some exercise done some running for about an hour or so but I just started to feel too ill to carry on really, then when I went back to my car driving...
  17. Day 11 - Quitting weed

    Well today has sucked, I wasn’t going to do a journal entry everyday and do a grouped 2 or 3 day one from days 11-13 but today’s been really rubbish with the way I’ve felt, had a bit of a crap sleep last night (again) took me about hour and a half or two hours to get to sleep and then woke up early but could not get back to sleep, head felt heavy and anxious. I then just feel super paranoid, anxious, depressed, lethargic all day, I took one l-tyrosine 500mg tablet which at first gave me a...
  18. Day 10 - Quitting weed

    Today has been ok really, I woke up with slightly heavy head but not as bad, did feel very tired when I woke up though, but something I did notice which is hard to explain was while I was dreaming last night I kind of felt a happy/joyous feeling, maybe something in my brain changing slowly but I could feel it in my sleep I felt happy, it was nice, I still have felt an anxious worried feeling through most the day and night but again not as severe, I didn’t get to do my usual working out today...
  19. Day 9 - Quitting weed

    Well today while not being easy has certainly been better than the last few days. I again woke up with a very heavy head, brain fog and exhaustion which is not nice at all but i pushed myself to go to the gym even though I had no motivation and it helped tremendously. I still do feel paranoia, lost sad feeling, Irritable but it feels less intense and more manageable. I also haven’t felt like giving in as much today which is a positive. 9 days clean does feel quite good I feel proud that I...
  20. Day 8 - Quitting weed

    Today has been a real test! Woke up with the heavy head again, felt in a kind of fog all day like a dazed feeling, I went to the park to play football for a bit which helped my mood slightly but then when I got back home I had some very powerful urges to smoke weed, my mind was convinced me that life without weed is horrible and almost not even worth living, I was really close to caving in but I managed to fight it off by keep thinking how gutted I would be the next day and reminded myself...
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