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Cannabinoids Addiction Journals

Post your cannabis / cannabinoid recovery Journal for community support, advice and tracking progress.

  1. beating the green day 3

    So to day 3 Last night I thought was gonna be a struggle felt wide awake and restless not really sure what time i nodded off as i think checking the time constantly doesn't help your brain switch off or knowing you've got x amount of time till your alarm goes off doesn't help either. I no I awoke once or twice through the night but in general felt like a decent nights sleep which I'm happy about.waking up this morning felt somewhat easier no ganjover to deal with just a few aches and...
  2. beating the green day 1 and 2

    im 27 I've smoked weed pretty much for 10 years now and feel like it's time to stop if I'm being completely honest In the last 6/12months If really noticed how much the weed has affected my personality and more recently I've noticed my memory is now starting to go abit. The personality issue is my main reason to quit over the last 2 to 3 years ive found I'm very socially anxious/awkward unless I've had a couple beers,I find myself constantly not speaking even just thinking what to say is a...
  3. All about the miracle called Ibogaine and my Suboxone detox experience

    My Ibogaine detox experience. How I got off Suboxone pain and withdrawal free.
  4. Day After Shot

    Today i feel fabulous i had a mega dose injenction at KBBH yesterday.it was thick gross medicine.i needed the nurse to slowly inject cuz it felt so icky n creepy.my arm hurts just a little.you know when your young and you take turns punching each other hard,thats what it feels like.not too terible.i for got how to spell for a moment. i would like to smoke some pot but im waiting till this evening.maybe.i dunno.i dont even have any.no money anyways.buying new furniture this coming couple...
  5. A New Life is Born-Addicted to Life: One month Celebration

    i reached a month in my sobriety journey, its not my first month, but a month that was very difficult to reach. very exciting day. Today was pretty important, and yet very shocking, a relapse a couple of weeks ago was very close to accuring. It would of changed my entire future. Thank god im hear though. im understanding my god more and more everyday. im paying attention more, because it shows itself too me if i notice, and i do more often then not, but im paying more attention because at...
  6. A new life is born-Addicted to life: Restarting & Fighting spirit

    So I'm back, and I came with a new insight that I didn't have prior to this. I'm not perfect, nobody walking this earth surface is, that's a tough pill that I had to swallow in my life. Its not just me, I feel like deep down everyone wants to be perfect, not making a mistake, always being on time, always doing everything correctly. But that's not a possibility, I have to learn how to get over it. Its not a big deal, just something hard to deal with. I'm so not perfect that I had relapses...
  7. quitting xans and weed

    I am currently 19 years old and have been smoking weed since I was 15 on and off, mostly on. Out of almost 5 years I would say I have smoked a good 3.5 years continuously. I know for a fact weed has impaired my cognitive abilities and I have become addicted to it. People who say it is not possible are simply in denial. I also started taking xanax about a year and a half ago, at first it was recreational, it still mostly is, however I now suffer from anxiety as a result of a life event and...
  8. addicted to life: day 20 work,work,work. i want it easy!!

    yeah everyday is work, yeah its awesome. But sometimes i just want shit to be easy honestly, sometimes i just wanna be there already, sober, with years of clean time, money, a successful happy life, and a very loving family, with no problems only complete udderly wierd happyness. But nope, everyday is work, and every new day is work. Sure i can take time off, but then what? im bored, and im using so id rather not. But i could take time off and do other fun stuff, yeah but then where the hell...
  9. Addicted To Life Day 17-19 Progression

    Reality hit me today for the first time while i was sober. I was watching a movie and the thought of being able to reproduce life came to my mind. The thought we as species on this earth can come together and create life is incredible, the thought that life is so random that we really dont have much of a say in what gender the baby will be, or how many babies will be produced at once. The qualitys that baby will have, is crazy how that new life is put together. Life is incredible. We have...
  10. Not Toking Pot (day 16)

    Forgive me, I'm 16 days late on starting this journal, so I have A LOT to cover. But today makes 16 days clean from smoking marijuana. Let me put this out there: I do not think smoking pot is bad. I wish I still could smoke pot, however, because of jobs that will be drug testing me shortly in the future, my pothead days are sadly over. Let me go ahead and cover some things that I would have mentioned if I posted an entry for day 1. First off, my first time smoking pot was when I was 13. It...
  11. Addicted To Life Day: 16 Energies

    What type of energy are you projecting today? double check, seriously! are you negative, are you positive, are you loving? are you hating? are you absorbing? what is your energy today expelling? If you walk around with a negative attitude, saying to yourself you cant do something for whatever petty excuse you've seemed to make up. What do you think is mostly likely going to happen, do you honestly believe that, if you think you cant do something, your going to get it done? How, how do you...
  12. Feeling hotcold

    So i woke up this morning about 2 hours earlier than i normally do after going to bed about 4 hours after i normally do. Sheets drenched and boiling hot whilst freezing cold. I just keep saying its for the best and there is worse shit i could be trying to quit. Im taking the day off work today to file police report and iv booked a doctors appointment, im gonna be straight up with them and hopefully i can get some help quittng
  13. Addicted To Life: Day 15 Falls Just Mean Get Back Up

    so ive been involved with this battle of drugs for a very long time, as of right now its been about 2-3years. Though im still relapsing, im not quiting, theres nothing worse then quitting on yourself, that dissappointing feeling you get will follow you around for the rest of your life. For me, the dissapointment is just as bad a feeling as the guilt, and the shame, and id give anything to stay away from those two feelings, fact is id give anything to a normal functioning person in the world....
  14. Awesome timing! Not!

    So I just went up to the car to drive to the shop and get some milk for a coffee and some breakfast before work, they picked the best night! my cars been broken into, my change jar in the car, aux cord, pipe(lol) and wallet have been taken, no ciggies no coffee no breakfast no weed I'm gonna fucking kill the next person that even has the slightest thought of looking at me funny, So now I've gotta file a police report before someone files one against me for attempted manslaughter.
  15. Hot/cold/hot/cold/hot

    I'm in my bed at the moment in long pants a hoodie and 2 blankets sweating and freezing at the same time, I know I'm not actually cold and I shouldn't be roasting myself like this but it seems to be the only thing that helps? if I stand up and get out of bed I instantly start shivering like I'm standing naked on a windy hill. good thing this time is for good, I dont want to go through this shit again haha
  16. Day 2?

    So I woke up this morning and first instinct was to open my wardrobe and pull out the goods. little bit of a sinking feeling when you realise hey that wasn't a dream that I quit pot and I still gotta do this haha. My brains having a fight with itself trying to make up a list of reason why smoking is good but i'm not folding! Feeling super fidgety at the moment and can't focus on one thing to do but I have work in an hour so that should take my mind off it for a bit! The first night sleep...
  17. Quittin' Time!

    So its been 8 years since I started smoking pot, the first 2 years were the usual on/off, once every couple of weeks with friends as a fun thing. then, as I finished school and got a larger income with more freedom I really let the usage go. I started smoking every day about 6 years ago but id say the last 3 years have been the worst. From what I've seen, I smoke a lot more than other people. I can knock down an ounce in 3 days 50/50 spun and having a bong is next to breathing now. I...
  18. Addicted To Life Day 14: The Persuading Inner Voice

    We all hear it im assuming, if you havent yet, your either lying to yourself, purposely pretending thats not real, calling it your own voice, or your just not really a human being. We all have heard it before. we walk around all day and that voice speaks to us, telling when to do something, not to do something, dont touch the flames it'll burn and it'll be hot. The voice is with us always. It even follows us around every where, thats why we really cant get away with anything even though we...
  19. Addicted To Life Day 13: Triggers Are Everywhere....

    Every where i look now i see a trigger, music, tv shows, kids tv shows, movies, commercials, clubs, bars, there arent many places that i dont see a trigger anymore. I guess its my own fault most of the time because i seem to always put myself in situations that are triggering for me. But sometimes i cant help it, i get curious, and then from my curiousity i explore further, and then before you know it im waist deep in my addiction, whether im doing drugs or not, my addiction is being fed....
  20. Addicted To Life Day 12: Not Long To Live

    I woke up with a disturbing dream on my mind. It was about the end of the world, the end of civilization as we knew it. could you imagin, as im typing this chapter, or as you're reading this, a huge rapture begins to take people, or even worse, say a meteor collides with our planet killing 85 percent of civilization and hell on earth begins? That was pretty much my dream that i had, and im a very spiritual individual, i believe theres energies and being who can communicate with people here,...
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