1. Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
    PLEASE HELP
    Dismiss Notice

Other Drug R&A Journals

Post your recovery Journal for community support, advice and tracking progress.

  1. Most things suck.

    I don't feel like I can say "everything sucks" since it doesn't. But, most things do. I just feel like shit all the time, physically and mentally. I feel like I'm just going through the motions every single day. I'm only okay when I'm busy. Ever since I gave up opiates I feel like I have to stay on the go. I can't just kick it like I used to. Given, I was high as a kite so sitting in bed watching Netflix wasn't hard. It just feels like I can't relax anymore. When I do, my mind just races and...
  2. A new life is born-Addicted to life: Restarting & Fighting spirit

    So I'm back, and I came with a new insight that I didn't have prior to this. I'm not perfect, nobody walking this earth surface is, that's a tough pill that I had to swallow in my life. Its not just me, I feel like deep down everyone wants to be perfect, not making a mistake, always being on time, always doing everything correctly. But that's not a possibility, I have to learn how to get over it. Its not a big deal, just something hard to deal with. I'm so not perfect that I had relapses...
  3. I´m back! massive relapse :(

    After struggling a week with 0,65 i could not take it anymore and binged five days.. now I have not take any for three days and feel.. almost ok! Don´t know why.. probably because my bad WD for three months had done it´s job!?? anyway.. i will keep on with this journal as long as I dont feel 100% ok.. and that will take a while.. please don judge me.. You that have followed my journal know how hard I have been struggling..
  4. Every day struggle.

    So I decided to start a new journal, since my first was about my most recent relapse and I feel I'm past that head space. I last used in late March (opiates, anyway) and I've been doing fine staying away from them even though the cravings are still near constant. Buuuut, me being a moron I have gotten wrapped up in a less deadly but more toxic relationship with an A-PHP derivative...fuuuuuuck me. I naively thought that I had enough of a handle on myself after pulling myself off the DOCs to...
  5. 0,50 gram.

    Today I been wired and paranoid with anxiety but as this comes on waves I made the cut of 150 mg anyway.. soon as I took it I felt better. If my benzos would work I could speed thing up.. I wont make another cut until I feel better..
  6. Last day on 0,65.

    I waited four hours extra before my little babydose of pheni. And felt no WD symptoms. Yes! when I had dose I went warm and could take of one of my sweaters. When it´s been at it´s worse I had two sweaters and hoodie up when I sleeping. Today I laughed loud for the first time in .. ahh.. last time I was high on phenibut? :D So I´m getting back slowly .. A bit worried that my sleepers have no effect on me.. during the time on phenibut I did not need them.. And after abusing pheni so long...
  7. Please! Looking for urgent help on Phenibut & Tianeptine withdrawal

    Hi all!! So just quickly about myself -- I'm a 25 year old male (205 lbs) in. So up until about 3 months ago I really wasn't doing any drugs at all, other than recreational marijuana sometimes, and recreational drinking on weekends. I don't normally do tons of drugs other than one bout of opiate dependance in my early twenties (Nucynta) but one day I really was looking into some anxiety-relieving ones, because sometimes I just have anxiety issues to the point where I'm socially awkward...
  8. Valium w/d starting to kick in now

    I've been taking 10mg of Valium for ? 5-8 yrs my life is a blur now. Anyway long time. Was cut to 5mg a day last week started that on Sunday. I'm feeling tense keep clenching muscles and fists. Oh it's been 2 weeks now since I've had more than 5 hrs of sleep at a time. Could be methadone w/d too. @ same time was cut from 20mg for pain for I'm pretty sure 10yrs now to 10mg a day. Wow I'm still not eating. I'm losing weight like crazy. I look thinner every time I look in the mirror. Managed to...
  9. A 0,65 gram dose today.

    I felt better today when I woke up.. but I learned that can change during the day :) Don´t know if I should jump from 250 or taper all the way out .. I´m looking at my dose now and are amazed how much phenibut I took just three months ago.. How could I be so stupid to let it grow to 12 gram a day!??
  10. what could have been

    I was not always like this, though I never made it in college for a number of reasons I was a skilled potter, guitarist, and if there is something I wished to do I usually just learn how to do it. Not so much anymore, all I can do at this point is keep my head above water. If I had continued to practice guitar I would be at least able to make a living from it. Now, I can still play to a point, but not like ten years ago.Now when I try to play I have horrible back pains, and pains in my arms...
  11. I dread waking up

    I erased most of my thoughts when I realized I was posting in the wrong spot and "copy" didn't copy all of it : so this mite make less sense. My so called counselor asked me to state something positive about this past month, Instead I told him the story of "the bush" from my childhood. I am/was learning disabled, when I would get bad grades in school( all the time ) I would have to go to a bush, pick a switch, strip it, and hand it to my step dad so he could beat me with it. That and the...
  12. 07, gram today.

    I had some chills and was very cold before my 0,7 dose. But 30 minutes later I was warm again.. Not as depressed as the days before and manage to have the TV on. I will go the the Gym today.. I don´t know why I cut so fast.. I just want it over with I guess.. Though I know that in a week or so when the last dose is taken, I wont feel like normal me. But at least the poison that I have put in to my system is out. Because I have no idea how long this will take, or if I will ever be normal...
  13. Felt better this morning so I made a cut to 0,8 gram.

    Not much more to say.. Mild anxiety but now cold hands/feet. As I stated before I´m looking forward to experiment with Ketamine.. Have a nice day/night
  14. Back to tapering, I stay on 0,9 for a few days..

    I woke up 03:00 in the night because the lyrica I have taken for two days had left my system. I will stay on 0,9 for a few days until I get more stabilized. When I don´t have the chills and feel better.. But today I feel better then two days ago at least.. I could eat some breakfast and talk normal with my mother.. no fetus position yet :D I will go to the Gym today again. Hope you all have a nice day! Peace out from Sweden.
  15. another good day without phenibut!

    I shaved and shower for the first time in three weeks.. then I went to the gym. It was awesome..I´m still strong! And it´s friday so my mother bought me a sixpack :D. Making music and feel fine.. a spliff would be nice.. It was like six month ago I smoked.. I did order some ketamine and plan to take it really small doses.. Like medicine.. I read a lot about it and my conclusion Is that in my state it can be good for me.. making new synapse in my brain.. And I love the feeling to.....
Loading...