Hi DF community, I just don't know what else to do atm so I'm trying to vent on here....I have been on methadone for 2 years now, and after being removed from one due to "patient differences", I feel like a failure because although Ihavent used Heroin heavy for awhile, I still am dabbling with pot and pills....I know I am ready to go to rehab, but in my state 23-30 days is mostly the maximum....unless I plead my case and really be serious about my recovery....but nowI dont know if I should detox off methadone because in truth, it's semi helping, but not completely. I think that I cannot use any substance in order to recover....and I dont mean just be clean....recovery to me is a change of lifestyle, outlook, attitude and mindset. To be able to handle situations that come in life without a substance to feel better.....I know this to be true, but ITS SO HARD TO STOP!!! For now 'Im staying on my dose, with the intention to go down at least 20 mgs and see how I feel then...I just need a job and contribute in some way. I sm on the fence with pharmacology substitution therapy and I'm just trying to make the real choice. Love.