I have very mixed feelings about this and actually, I am 100% sure that this will not last long, but, at least, I can try.
A day before yesterday I decided that it is time to stop, because I was at that point where my drug abuse just makes me sick, I have no veins left and I do not get high anymore, besides I allmoust had a heart attack (I have had one before, so I know the signs and managed to react in time).Yesterday me and my husbabd decided to take a final shot, which was a mistake, because we made it so thick and intense, that this rush I had I will probably end up chasing all my life (And,yes,I know, it was kind of irresponsible doing it when I have had cardiovascular problems a day before).
Today I feel bad, depressed, ugly and allone wich is not a suprise.All these activities and celebrating people around just makes it worse. Especially when I know that it should not be so, when I feel like needing some kind of comfort. But I know that I am going to be allone all day long which scares me.
I am not sure that if someone offered me a bag at this moment, I would say no.
Besides, I do not know why, except these health problems, I should stay clean.No, I am lieing- because there are two people who do not want me to die. View attachment 122244
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