Day one, full of rage

By GiGi-Pup · Jan 13, 2018 · ·
  1. Determined pray I do this or I've got no reason to go on I have to. I sicken myself how I've lived a user for so long, ruined my body my veins my mind my morals. I hate my life I don't recognise myself at all. I live with a bf also user who all feelings but care are gone it's a fucking mess.

    About Author

    The secret junkie creating a "Bella figura" to the world acting like I've got it all together but it's totally not true.
    cvan1512 and Abbey Lee like this.


  1. torn2bits
    There's POWER in a humans RAGE, this made me quit.
    I was sick of being suck and ruled by a faulty medical system, that demined my character.
    This rage caused a fire inside to imbrace the hell I felt and know I'd feel better if I could force myself to accept the withdrawal.
    My hate fueled this, because fuck these white coated crooks& it's been more than 2 years.
    Please embrace the rage, endure, survive & know your beyond worth it.
    Best wishes ~ToRn
    1. GiGi-Pup
      Thank you so much. I feel like the rage will get me through too, like it's more of a powerful energy directed at something I should feel anger towards. I really hope I do this anyway and thank you for your reply.
      cvan1512 and torn2bits like this.
  2. ThanatosHypnos
    Recovery means recovering the person you were meant to be. All of the insanity of using can be a thing of the past for you. I recommend getting involved with an inhouse or outpatient detox/rehab. Or at least a doctor to give you a once over. Once you're ready flush it all and know that the pain will be well worth ti.
      cvan1512 and GiGi-Pup like this.
    1. GiGi-Pup
      Its going to be a big detox off the heroin and then I'll slowly but surely taper off the 40mg methadone. I so desperately want to leave this crazyiness behind. I'm lucky not to have hep c or hiv. Phlebitis I have now though. Thank you so much for your encouragement.
      cvan1512 and torn2bits like this.
  3. torn2bits
    Hiya Ms.GiGi..
    Hopefully your hanging tight and keeping yourself busy even if only in the mind.
    Withdrawal is hell, but not "having to score" daily and hustle's worth it.
    Bite down,refuse to loose the ground you've gained...keep your head up~ ToRn
      GiGi-Pup and cvan1512 like this.
    1. GiGi-Pup
      I'm feeling shocking day 3 I think, I am totally craving and it's 40 degrees in Melbourne for 2 days my Botox feels extra weird, something I've never noticed about w/d's before! That's a new symptom. Thank you so much for the support
  4. Misunderstoodit
    Make sure you learn good coping skills. How to manage and deal with problems in a healthy manner as possible. All your thoughts of craziness wanting to be gone, try not to forget the struggles you'll experience. We learn more from what we do wrong then what we do right. And if you do not allow yourself time to heal properly then you might ignore feelings that caused some of these things. Then your at high chance of your past repeating itself or going down a different destructive path. Turn to God and find love inside yourself. That way anything life throws at you, you'll be prepared because your foundation will be more grounded and ability to cope and process things effectively.
      GiGi-Pup and torn2bits like this.
    1. GiGi-Pup
      That is so true, I'm so far into W/D I can see how twisted I am. I very much need to basically relearn life.
  5. Britt B
    I agree in using your rage as an outlet for good positive movement and change. That's a perfect example of turning a negative into a positive. Have you ever tried Kratom to help with the w/d. It is a miracle plant. I know this feels like hell, but ANYTHING to steer your mind away from the overwhelming nature of ridding the body of all the toxins, like Sudoko, Mahjong, even journaling. Another thing that really helps is actually being active which sounds kind of crazy but it's better than just laying there sweating and kicking and being in the bathroom all day long. Not everyone has the ability to do a medical detox but I could offer any advice it is that which is keep your body in mind busy and really look into Kratom. It changed my life and so many others. I hope that you have a strong group of people in your life to support you but if not you know that people like us here on the Forum are always here for you. Sending you much love and light sweetheart
      GiGi-Pup and torn2bits like this.
    1. GiGi-Pup
      Thank you! I just saw a doco on Kratom, apart from craigslist Australia I wouldn't know where to find it. I'm a bit out of touch apart from the ol h! My 40mg of methadone I've been on for years doesn't hold me at all.
  6. Britt B
    Ok so here's a couple trusted sites. Gaia botanicals, kraken Kratom, legit Kratom. It has helped so many people, including myself dear. I'll be celebrating 2 years in March. I'm always here for advice or any troubling feelings. This is some pretty hard shit to handle, especially if you don't have anyone to talk to.
  7. pupply
    kratom is the kick i ever i am battling alchah/??ol. iam so scared. any tips ? i am literley on my knees.
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