thanks for the pep talk flower tongue.i'm sitting here drinking my coffee and toying with my vaporizer.
going to work in bout an hour and I'm determined to not stop anywhere so I wont see cigarettes.
ive quit for 8 months so I know I can do this.
plus,when the time comes I do not want to be laid up in a hospital bed craving a cigarette.i want as little distractions as possible.
something I cant help but worry about is the lack of evidence of what a vaporizer has on us.i mean,their so new that theres really not many tests out there.
how do we know their so much safer?
also,ive realized that I just have to be struggling over something it seems.
if its not tramadol its cigarettes.and if its not cigarettes its marijuana and so on and so on.
like a dominoe effect.one after the other.have to be stressing over one of them.what the hell is that about!?
why cant I just be content.
as of now the tramadol is the easiest for me.i know im done with that.of course, I just said 'i know'
so im probably wrong.
I still have the empty bottle with my refill number on it,so im still tempted to refill.
when I throw that out is when im really done.
its been a month and a half and I still haven't refilled,so that's a first.but like I said,when I throw out my refill number i'll really be proud.
because then I'd have to go in to my doctor and explain why I lost my number,don't really wanna do all that.
anyways,i fucked up and smoked a pack of cigarettes over a 3 day period.i really don't even know why I did this.just have to be struggling over something.
I was doing so good on the tramadol I suppose I just had to sabotage myself.
so heres to a new day.no tramadol OR cigarettes.