Detoxin momma:things are changing for me. - Part 36

By detoxin momma · Oct 14, 2014 · ·
  1. i am so sorry to hear about your cat BT2H.
    I understand completely how hard that is.we get so used to having them in our daily lives its like a piece of our heart goes when they go.

    I am actually planning to discuss with my psychiatrist tomorrow if its normal to be so hung up on the loss of mine.
    he would of been 15 Thursday the 16th.
    I buried him at my fathers house and I plan to go dump some milk on his grave.
    and I have questioned how insane that is.

    in the words of Robert Deniro in meet the parents,"hes a cat for christs sake!"

    the last time I was at my psychiatrist I was crying over my dog I lost.
    now I wanna talk about my cat!

    not my family,my neighbors,school,work,etc.but my pets!thats what made him say he wanted to talk about OCD next visit,and I haven't been back since.

    those are the things that make me question my sanity.i cant help it.i loved them.and their gone.and there is nothing I can do about it.and it hurts.

    so yeah,i can relate...another reason lifes a bitch.

    I have got to pull myself out of this funk I have been in.i refuse to be one of those moms that sits around sulking letting their house fall to shit as the husband struggles to pick up all the pieces.

    I don't want that for us,at all.

    I have decided I might not be able to breastfeed.
    if I don't feel better by February when I deliver I have no choice but to go on some kinda antidepressant.
    I hate to say that,but maybe I do have some kinda problem that is out of my control.
    so if theres a drug that will get me back to being more upbeat and chipper im going to have to take it.for my whole familys sake.

    my very first appointment with my shrink he said it was selfish to not be properly medicated.but I was still in control then,so I didn't get that.
    well I get it now,and it is selfish.

    I just gotta get threw the next few months before I make and decisions.i may be completely back to myself once im not pregnant anymore,cant wait,im counting the days.

    thanks again for the continued support and encouragement.
    I cant wait to close this journal either.
    I hope within the next 6 months i'll be reading all my whining and shaking my head at myself.

Comments

  1. mrs.badger
    Well, if it isn't, then there are a hell of a lot of us abnormal types out there! I lost my sweet dog, Clemmie, almost eight years ago and I still tear up when I remember her last day.
    Grieving, but after a month I couldn't stand it. I started haunting the local animal shelters and I found my darling Kate. (The latest inmate.) I swear it was like she'd been waiting for me.
  2. AKA_freckles
    Hey DM - look up Dr. Thomas Hale. He's the authority on Bf, pregnancy, and medications. Don't listen to your dr., don't listen to the internet, listen to him. Refer your doc to his work, he's the end all be all and he is VERY pro breastfeeding.
  3. Beenthere2Hippie
    Hiya Momma-

    There is NOTHING strange about continuing to miss and even mourn the loss of a pet that happened a while back. At least that's what ALL the ladies I met when I signed up to give my time weekly to the Humane Society here in my county told me the other day. And, damn it, I think they're right.

    Like one lady explained. "People, even your husband and kids, are loving and lovable, but animals have a vulnerability about them--they are so dependent on you for their every need--and when they look into your eyes you can see all they way through, not like with people who put up fronts, or block your stare. We cling to them and the affection they give us in a way different, and, even perhaps more heartfelt, than that which we share with people--except in passing glances."

    Makes perfect sense to me, but then you, I and the ladies at the Humane Society are probably all a little pleasantly eccentric or else we would never had taken all these animals into our lives in the first place, right? So screw that psychiatrist trying to analyze your inner feelings for animals. He doesn't understand and never will. Do not, Momma, let him tell you your love for animals points of OCD. That's bullshit. So go and pour the mile and the hell with what anyone thinks. : )

    I'm glad you're taking things one day at a time, and have the power to mentally stand back a distance and observe yourself and your behaviors logically. Not everyone can do that, my dear, and it's a wonderful, often lifesaving trait. And that you still have your sense of humor and can laugh at yourself and other things funny in the world. To me, that proves you very sane indeed. This whole business of erratic moods and feeling helpless are results of your pregnancy (and them damn, wild bucking hormones) and your recent health scare. And that is all quite normal and to be expected, too.

    Give it time, dear Momma, and things, as you've already noted yourself, will iron themselves out. And you will be thrilled with your new baby girl. as will be your husband, whom you will teach how to help with every aspect of infant parenthood, which he was too busy (and occasionally too high, lol) to partake in during your previous two pregnancies. Put the saddle on his back and get him used to helping tow the baby load. ;)

    So good to see you posting again. Please let us know how you are, always-

    Love & Hugs-

    B
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!