Ya, I know what you mean. Perhaps the key is only getting a script for 5 pills a month? That way you would have some on hand for the really bad days, and if you abused it, it would be gone in 2 days tops. You shouldn't have problems with that, nor should you get any withdrawals.
I did fine on the 50 mcg/patch for 3 years without abusing it. It wasn't until the trigger in Feb that set me on this road. Past coping mechanisms kicked in big time.
I really think you need to stabilize for a week and give your body a break. It's working overtime and it just maybe needs a break to regroup. Just a thought. (I will post this in your thread, too)
lostlygirl added 121 Minutes and 50 Seconds later...
I have a question for you guys. I am debating whether to send a link to my journal to my counselor. He knows pretty much everything except that I have started abusing the fentanyl. What do you think?