JD, yes, I know what you mean. This was one reason why I hated teaching online courses.
I think it was just a matter of miscommunication on a stressful day for both of us. You know how much I love you girl! Well, at least I hope you do .
Addiction is messy. It's usually a bunch of different stuff all tangled together. It's physically, spiritually and emotionally exhausting. Sometimes we just need a break from all of it. Heaven knows I do, and I've only been at this for two weeks.
My son had surgery to grab two of his front teeth that had grown in vertically impacted. The surgery was quite invasive. He is doing ok but is understandably sore.
I received this message from Lee Morgan's journal that really resonated with me. I think I have missed a most important spiritual aspect in my journey. I copied it here because I think it's a beautiful approach and want to incorporate it into my healing.
When the student is ready the teacher will come.
From Lee Morgan:
My way is to go out into the high desert and listen. Sometimes I go out there into that land for days and walk and listen and pray. I think learning to listen is an important step in breaking addictions or any type of pattern. How can one hunt a fox if they don't know it's patterns? For me, when I "listen" I am stalking myself and eventually I recognize my own patterns...then I can hunt them and change them. Listening for me is a gateway to my unconscious mind.
Change can't be done with our conscious mind. If so, then changing any behavior would be as easy as tying our shoes. Real change can only be accomplished by the unconscious mind and that is why Medicine Men or Shamans are so important. They know how to do this."
I think I need to be still. To really listen past the noise inside me. To walk, meditate, reflect, and listen to the stillness. To just be....
Now..back to the noise!
I am still unsure whether to taper via Fentanyl or taper via Loperamide.
If I go back to the Loperamide after using the Fentanyl for 24 hrs, will I physically have to start the whole withdrawal process again? Will it be as intense?
I would love to hear from people that have gone through this. What has been your experience when being off of you DOC for a few weeks and then going back on, and then off again?
Do you feel like you physically are at day one or do you feel you have not lost all the ground you've made?