Sorry I haven't been around much, this time of year is always insanely busy for me. I have 3 crazy busy times of the year with my kids, that being the end of May (when school gets out), Mid August (when school goes back), and Mid December with all the Christmas concerts, parties, plays, etc.
All my kids play a wide variety of instruments, and play in both band and orchestra for a total of 7 different concerts to attend in 5 days. Its ridiculously busy. This week I have had a school Christmas concert every night (two last night), as well as the BACC (parents PTO) Christmas party. My 12 yr old son had his first solo performance on the trumpet last night in front of the whole school. I was very proud!
The BACC meetings are difficult for me as there is one person and her friend who are just out and out bitches (it's something they are actually proud of, idiots) This one idiot (I call her Cruella DeVille in my head) will start whispering loudly to her friend whenever I talk in the meetings, and is just an all around crazy bitch. The meetings cause me stress, but I always attend as I want the school to know that I give a shit, and that I will be all over them if they mess with my kids.
In the past I haven't attended the Christmas meeting as it's a social event where the principal takes everyone out to dinner. The last few years the Principal and others have encouraged me to attend and to not let this other person win, so I have. It's just not a fun event for me. I sat at the opposite end of the table, although her friend that's not quite as bad came over and talked to me (odd). I usually get along with everyone that I meet and this situation is just bizarre. I have only one more Christmas BACC meeting with them as their kids will be graduated. Yippy!
I did decide to pick up my patches. I feel stuck between Loperamide and Fentanyl. I am really, really stressed about trying another route such as Subs or Methadone, I am just not good with pills. So far I have been fine with the fentanyl. Last time I went 2 weeks before I had a problem, and chucked them out when I did. I also realize that sucking on them means 3 very idiotic things:
If I didn't have kids still at home I would suck it up and go cold turkey. I just cannot do that to them.
- That it can KILL ME (thank you Bear)
- That I run out early (or throw them out, like last month)
- It's very physically hard on my body to use Loperamide.
I have been a little depressed about the whole thing. I also do not know how to deal with the pain in the winters when I am off. Ever since I can remember always had an achy body. Can high blood inflammation cause this, JD?). Whenever I am off of Fentanyl I am reminded as to how annoying and frustrating that is. My Dr says that low hormone levels can cause this, although that doesn't explain why I was that way when I was much younger. Ugh. And I still can't get my insurance to cover testosterone. It's close to $500 per month without insurance. It's very frustrating to not be able to get a medication I need due to the insurance company. They have overruled two Dr's that have examined me, and lab results that show I have none. That the insurance company gets to completely overrule their decision is asinine.
Love to you all. JD, thanks for your DM, and yes. I love you, girl! I will DM with details. Kitts, I have a whole bunch of stuff to send you... After tomorrow I will be a lot less busy as school will be out, and the crazy busyness of Christmas season will be over!