Update 1- Well its been about 3 days since I last posted on here. Should update because this shit really works, but of course never the way you expect. Today I'm feeling down, but for all the right reasons...
Part of the reason I've been so depressed lately is because I've been in a toxic relationship that just isn't any good for me anymore, but I've been unable to end things. This last month just felt wrong but it was like the deeper I got with the depression the harder it was to fix what needed to be fixed. Well last night I just had to tell her what was going on and why I couldn't be around her anymore.
Of course it went exactly how I thought it would, and I hurt for doing it. But it really needed to be done, I cannot move on with my life until I did. So like I said, I'm hurting again but nothing like before and I also was able to do something I wasn't able to (for whatever reason) before.
Even though I feel crappy for ending it, I feel a sense of relief knowing that I won't be hurting anymore from the constant up and downs that the relationship was causing me, alot more downs than ups lately..
The first day after the DMT I felt great with no anxiety, the next day I felt pretty good and everything after that has just been normal, which I'm completely happy with. Normal is what I want, I'm just glad to be out of the hole I was in and even if the depression came back full force tomorrow I've been able to do some things for myself to get me in a better place that it wouldn't be nearly as bad. If that makes sense haha.
I also plan on taking another, slightly larger hit in about 2 weeks unless things keep going smoothly as they have.
Edit- So just got back from another meeting, it's been really nice going to those. Almost moreso for my addiction to this relationship than anything else at the moment, I just need whatever to keep me distracted from her.
I'll be back..