Alright. I’ve got 3 days. Still no suboxone. Hoping to get some help from a different clinic this morning. Everything will be ok. I can do this. Gotta stay strong. Time to go to the south side of the city to get some help. Hope someone will help me. This country’s health care system is fucked. Opioid and heroin epidemic... how about we make treatment AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE WHO NEEDS IT? I have HEALTH INSURANCE AND CANT FIND A FUCKING SUB DOCTOR?
The psychiatrist at my treatment center refused to prescribe me suboxone yesterday. The reason? Cannabis. SO, because I use CBD OIL WITH LOW THC to help my SEIZURE CONDITION (in addition to an anti-convulsant drug), she won’t prescribe something to me which will keep me off the dope... ok, lady. Do these people want me to die?
Fuck this country, and fuck the hatred towards cannabis. It’s one of the few things helping me right now, when I have nothing else to help me get through this hell of withdrawal. It helps my restlessness. It helps me sleep at least a few hours. It helps me eat, even though I feel sick... What’s so bad about that?
I truly hope that our country gets its SHIT TOGETHER and STOPS FUCKING COMPARING CANNABIS TO DRUGS LIKE HEROIN. CANNABIS IS FUCKING NOTHING LIKE HEROIN. ITS NO WHERE NEAR AS DESTRUCTIVE AS ALCOHOL, either... ok. Rant over. Hah.
I keep looking at my arms and thinking about what relief a good shot would bring me... but what else would that bring? More shame? Self-hatred? Make this dope sick game even worse? Fuck that.
I don’t pray. I don’t have a god. But I pray to fucking god that I can get some suboxone maintenance treatment, and soon.