Ah, I forgot how wonderful it is to find relief... thank you, Suboxone ♥️
So yesterday, I had to go to a suboxone clinic on the south side of the city, far as hell from my apartment, because the psychiatrist at my treatment center didn’t like the idea of me using medical cannabis with buprenorphine. I GUESS I understand... but cannabis helps me cope with side effects from the medicine I take for my seizures, lamictal.
Both my appointment and visit with the doctor yesterday were NOT covered by my insurance... I was so desperate to not feel like shit, and so afraid of getting high, that I said “fuck it”, as long as I get some RELIEF for a WEEK... but today, I saw a different psychiatrist at my current treatment center. Somehow, my urinalysis miraculously turned negative for THC, so he agreed to help me out... YAY! A sub doctor who’s in network will help me? What????!!!!
There’s a catch... I can’t use cannabis. At all. I have a seizure disorder, so I take lamictal (an anticonvulsant or whatever), and I experience some negative side effects. Trouble sleeping, lack of appetite, just feeling a bit out of it and “weird”. I use my cannabis card mainly for HIGH CBD and LOW THC oil concentrates, which significantly help me to manage all side effects of lamictal.
I have to choose... marijuana or suboxone? It’s an obvious choice, really; cannabis didn’t really help me stay off the dope, but suboxone sure will. I’ve used subs before for a few months, back at the beginning of a stint where I had almost 2 years clean. From the start, suboxone helped me adjust to living a clean, healthy, and fulfilling lifestyle.
I really, really wish I didn’t have to let go of cannabis... it helps me a lot. I certainly understand why a doctor wouldn’t be comfortable prescribing something like suboxone to someone who uses a substance which is federally illegal. But, come on, America... catch up, now... in my personal experience, alcohol is a hell of a lot more destructive than weed! Weed even helps an alcoholic friend of mine stay away from the booze!
But, yeah. Relief. So much. Fucking. Relief. Thanks, suboxone.
Our healthcare system is still fucked, though... hah. I might go to my dispensary and see if they have any product that’s so low in THC it wouldn’t show up in a drop. Fingers crossed.
My new doctor recommended I use long-term suboxone maintenance, because of my vicious relapse/recovery cycle. I know, I know, IT WAS MY CHOICE TO GET HIGH... but today, I’m going to choose to take advantage of a medicine which will ground me, and help me find my way.
But now, I get to look forward to receiving a bill for an out-of-network doctor’s visit and evaluation.
Ah, well.... at least I’m clean! Onward!