Re: Dose won't last...
Thanks a bunch for the advice, SoozyQ! It surely seems like you know how tough methadone can be, so if anything, it's just nice to hear from a fellow addict-in-recovery
What I've done, at least so far is; first, before anything else, when I wake-up now (no matter how early or late) I take a nice deep breath and tell myself, "I'm going to be okay."
I say that to myself several times a day now, sometimes out-loud. Although I probably look like a madman doing it, it really helps!
Second order of business was to come-up 5mg just because I was feeling really awful. This I did because I knew with all the stress in my life lately, the last thing I needed was another reason to use. In order to go up on my dose, I had to see the clinic's nurse practitioner, and she gave me a real good once-over and said I look, sound, and feel very healthy from her exam however I still haven't had my blood analyzed; although the last test in 2011 showed no common diseases or bad liver function
Third, I've got a nice long list of all the doctors in my area which take my health insurance, so I'm actively on the hunt for a new primary physician, as well as a psychiatrist or psychologist; basically I
just need someone professional who's neutral to my situation (unlike a friend or family member) and who I can go talk to on the regular.
Next, I took a look at my diet, which is a mess. Although I cook very often and never eat frozen or pre-prepared meals, the overall amount of fat and sugar I was eating was way too much. I've had problems with constipation on MMT (Idk anyone who hasn't), and I've realized that's another thing that will make you feel terrible if left unchecked. So I've got my cousin who's a triathlete helping me with my diet; awesome!
Finally, I am lucky enough to live in an area where medical cannabis is legal and available for people who really need it. Therefore I will be getting myself a caretaker who can bring me cannabis products like oils and edibles which will really help with my muscle pain, as well as helping my unfortunate condition of panic anxiety disorder (or P.A.D.) Although I do not plan to sit around getting baked for the rest of eternity, there are definitely some symptoms that cannabis is very effective at treating.
It is my hope that along with positive thinking, a good diet, exercise (a must-do in recovery), and some further help from the doctors and medical professionals will finally get me back to feeling normal! Thanks again for your well-written reply and kind-mannered empathy. It always makes ya feel a bit better to know you're not alone!