EZ Taper from "QUEEN" Norco - and much.more.about.you. - Part 2

By styledial · Sep 18, 2014 · ·
  1. tryhard,
    Your post reminds me how easy Ben has it compared to many here - how little he had to sacrifice and how much others will and do sacrifice every single day in their own battles against addiction.

    I haven't been counting but I think this is Bens 3rd day of withdrawal. He's a lucky shitbird - almost all of his withdrawals have been mental. There has been fatigue but it disappears when he's working. There has been no diarrea, a little chest burning, but other than that - just bleach brain. A completely bleached brain with a low buzz humming from his inner ear but even that only appears at night from 6 or 7pm till he goes to bed. Ben takes 1.5 MGs of Xanax and sleeps pretty well. I think Bens withdrawal are so mild because of the way he used Norco. He only took the prescribed amount: three 10MG Norco per day. He accepted what it gave him and enjoyed it for what it was without chasing a higher high. Bens tolerance did lower the high but it did not kill it. Even after 3 years of the exact same dosage Ben definately felt Queen Norco every time she kissed his lips.

    Ben isn't escaping unharmed - he is experiencing a very significant and painful mental WD. Ben says he's not depressed but he feels joyless and a mighty hopelessness has settled into his heart. That sounds like depression to me but Ben calls it bleach brain. Queen Norco made Ben happy. There is no denying that. It provided pleasure everyday and now there is no pleasure in anything. If Bens mind is occupied he's OK. When he's alone hopelessness almost eats him alive. Don't get me wrong here - Ben does feel some physical withdrawals but compared to the horrifying physical withdrawals you read in most threads here daily Ben's getting off easy-peasey.

    What Bens worried about is he managed to stay away from opiates for years but the emptiness never left him. He planned his relapse - found the opiate joy he was looking for and was almost completely content except he was shortchanging his wife and children of his time, attention, and affection. He was there but.not.really. Ben has everything any man could want including a large home theater. That's where Ben spends all of his time at home sitting in a giant theater chair nearly a yard wide and just as deep. It tilts, swivels, rocks, and reclines.......and Ben sits there watching whatever he wants on a 10 foot screen with laptops and Ipads and every other gadget known to man at his fingertips. Ben has everything but joy.

    Ben has every material thing life has to offer. He wants for nothing. His family adores him. Ben fears [for him] Queen Norco is joys only source in his life. Ben desperately wants to hear from anyone with answers.

Comments

  1. Peridot13
    Wow...cool, I enjoyed your writings..
    Peridot14 says she has been around a few w/ds. She is a huge advocate of tapering and using holistics and stuff to battle the bleach brain blues. Try megadosing on fish oils and evening primrose oils. Take good vitamins, eat good food.
    Practice Spirituality, be outdoors, carry water, chop wood. Enjoy your family most of all...have things to look forward to, give yourself to others who need help. More suggestions over on my page. I know this an older post. Hope you have not given up on the fight. xo xo xo Peridot14.
  2. Potter
    what do you mean by "Queen"?
  3. styledial
    The Queen in Bens life is Norco 10 AKA "the problem". Ben loves his Queen more than his family. His heart and mind can't accept that conflict.
  4. tryhard
    mate i suppose it will never be the same for any of us ,,, but i found the more i gave it a go , the more i realized that it is still there ,,, i have learnt if i chose to , i can let the happyness in ....

    not every day is the same ,,, i still suffer grately from a lot of my own feelings ....
    i feel extreamly out of place alot and around the only people i call my mates ,, more like family realy ,, but it dose not matter where or when ,, some of my emocions are just down right fucken scairy.....

    the hopelessness can drive me insane sometimes ,,, and i think sometimes if i was,nt here it might not have to be the way it is ,, thats made my eyes wet to type that but thats the way i feel...

    i go from super hi,s to megga megga low,s ,,,, it is a bit better than it used to be ,,,,but i think i will have to live with / like this
    for the rest of my days....
    i knew that i would be fighting this habbit for ever ,, but the mental is so taxxing and so fucked up sometimes....

    never give up mate ,, it is there somewhere ,, let yourself be happy ,,, dont ever stop trying ,,, it is in YOU , IT IS MATE....

    you know alot of the time i will fully isolate myself from everything and everyone ,,, but i think it is myself i am trying to escape from and i dont know how to deal with that......

    be cool BEN i dearly hope you find what it is that you are looking for....

    Andrew....
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