Thank you. Ben's been battling opiate addiction on and off (with long periods off) for 15 years. But Ben always goes back because he likes it and misses it - like a true love. It really is that simple. With everything he has in life - good health, fortune, and a loving family that's a load of psychological conflict. Ben is very intelligent. He functions at a very high level in his work. Bens opiate addiction has never caused a problem for him in his business. Ben is unusual. He has the willpower to keep it at bay - Ben really does have the willpower to avoid increasing his daily opiate intake long term. Ben took 3 Norco 10s a day as prescribed for the pure pleasure and accepted it's waning intensity - but the pleasure never dissapeared even with my bodies tolerance. Ben was satisfied with that. Most of Bens family and friends use alcohol to provide chemical pleasure - not as alcoholics but to give them a little extra daily dose of joy. I feel I need this extra pleasure in my life despite all that I have. Pathetic I know but it is who I am and I hate thinking about it or facing it.
Thank you so much tryhard for your last message. It is the first advice I've received in 15 years that really helped. I've been thinking about since I read it and just maybe you are my salvation tryhard. Maybe your namesake and words of wisdom are all I need to divorce Queen Norco. This morning I finally feel genuine hope for the first time in 15 years.