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Failed. Ashamed.

  1. I was not sure whether to even post this but it's better to be real and honest than in denial.
    This morning was day 4 I woke up refreshed and feeling quite good. Medium anxious that's all.
    And there is no excuse apart from the part of me which is convinced it needs cocaine, I relapsed after only 3 days.
    Not sure where to go from here apart from try to figure more things out and try again.
    Before I have no money or a part of my body can't take it anymore and gives up.
    Wish I never touched this drug. Maybe some people can control it, here it controls me.

    About Author

    Rainflake
    Quite messed up. Body and mind. Not sure if this one can even be saved. But lets try.

Comments

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  1. Johnny Brasco
    Honestly, i feel the same way most days.. beating myself up for the shit i do. But I've learned to not give a fuck and not care what other people might think about me.

    After all, it's not like we are hurting anyone other than ourselves so why do ppl even give a shit anyway. Haters, annoying.
  2. Rainflake
    @LittleBabyNothing thank you too. It helps to have contact with such understanding people on this forum.
  3. LittleBabyNothing
    I am quite familiar with this feeling.And I agree to Hopeless 78, that it is never too late. Maybe it is just a small slip, not a major relapse. Keeo trying, everything will be o.k.!
  4. Rainflake
  5. Hopeless78
    Don't beat yourself up, dust yourself off & keep going. As long as you keep fighting & trying, it's never hopeless or too late. I understand how hard it is. Xo