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  1. It has been a week from coming off of meth (and since my last journal entry). It now feels like months has passed. After long hours of sleep, being braindead and feeling lost; something happened... I had a dream about meth a few nights ago.

    It was the typical vivid setting. I smoked a lot, got really high but instead of messing it up and fiending heavy for more meth, I ended up rejecting more meth. I was at my kitchen table, spun and feeling dumb, facing bags of meth...and said, "I don't want it anymore. I'm done" and threw it all away. And instead of waking up wishing that me getting high was real, I woke up feeling content that even after my dream I still didn't want meth.

    I'm much more optimistic now, and while I still do have the occasional thoughts about smoking, its not enough for me to make some calls. I can comfortably say that I'm moving on. I know its pretty early to come to that conclusion at this point. But, its better to make that decision now and stay true to it, than pretend and suffer the possible consequences later.


  1. Scloud90
    That's good, I mean you still ended up doing meth in your dream, but you rejected it and that has never happened in any of my dreams. Even when I was sick of the drug and vowed to quit forever, I still would do it in my dreams and want more. In my opinion, the actual act of smoking meth in your dream was just a device to show that even if you did do it, you still wouldn't want it or change your mind. Meth is a big slippery slope of justifications and expectations of what the drug can give you. If you no longer have any expectations of meth in how it will make you feel, and it doesn't get you excited just thinking about doing more meth, then I would say you are a lucky person. Even when I am in a healthy state of mind and actively refuse the drug, I still have those feelings that make me wish I could.
  2. Mongrel-Lobster 13
    Hi Delta Jack. Congratulations! Your dream sounds like one of those revelations, where you find yourself wanting to change in life. Keep up the good work and I hope you continue to progress in the future. If you have any relapses, don't let it get you down. If subconsciously, you really want to get clean, you will. Out of all the recovering addicts I know, the ones with a will power to change always end up reaching their goal. It's good that you've started documenting your recovery through online journal entries. This should definitely help you stay focused on your objectives to quit the pipe. You'll always have an online community here to encourage you on your journey.

    Take care and best of luck.
  3. elephantsarefly
    Dreams are your subconscious telling you what it needs you to know; it could be explaining you've had your moments with the demon, there's nothing left to gain and it's time to move on
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