It has been a week from coming off of meth (and since my last journal entry). It now feels like months has passed. After long hours of sleep, being braindead and feeling lost; something happened... I had a dream about meth a few nights ago.
It was the typical vivid setting. I smoked a lot, got really high but instead of messing it up and fiending heavy for more meth, I ended up rejecting more meth. I was at my kitchen table, spun and feeling dumb, facing bags of meth...and said, "I don't want it anymore. I'm done" and threw it all away. And instead of waking up wishing that me getting high was real, I woke up feeling content that even after my dream I still didn't want meth.
I'm much more optimistic now, and while I still do have the occasional thoughts about smoking, its not enough for me to make some calls. I can comfortably say that I'm moving on. I know its pretty early to come to that conclusion at this point. But, its better to make that decision now and stay true to it, than pretend and suffer the possible consequences later.
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