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  1. "Walk in silence,
    Don't walk away, in silence.
    See the danger,
    Always danger,
    Endless talking,
    Life rebuilding,
    Don't walk away."

    (Joy division-Atmosphere)

    Today I was at funeral of a friend.

    Made me overthink a lot of things. Like how fucked up everything is if it is third death in period of two weeks. Like my husband said- death must have a party up there.

    It is just not right that people I know die at very young age.
    But I guess, it is the sad true, because I realised that all my friends are artists and musicians. And this rock'n'roll lifestyle obviously sooner or later takes the price we have to pay.

    " Nothing ever comes for nothing, we pay a price for all our choises made"
    (LAM- Spider and the fly)

    But then again there was something light and uplifting about this funeral. Maybe because the person who died was allways very optimistic and at least every time when I have met him- allways telling jokes and laughting. These were not one of these terrible macabre funerals when someone who is young dies and all others keep on drinking alcohol in huge quantities just to drown their suffering, there was something different in the air.

    I was clean all the ceremony and in a funeral party, because I consider it as a total disrespect to show up in such events totally high. Welk, in fact, there were people who were so fucked up that I started to feel ashamed of their behaviour in their place, but this is another story.

    But near the evening we just did it.
    The wrong mechanism of coping.

    But I do not consider it as something terrible this time. Other people in such occasions tend to drink themselves to the floor, I chosed my DOC in that place.

    But, in general, the feeling was just like one of our friends said about the death of this person (And it could not be said more beautyfull considering the fact how devoted to music he was):
    "The king of blues has left the building."

    About Author

    A fully functioning (have a job and gaining second higher education as A+ student) IV addict from Eastern Europe trying to keep her life togeather and fighting herown demons.Trying make the best out of her life as far as it is possible keeping in mind the fact of her drug abuse.And not to die before time.

    Familiar with drugs for more than 12 years.


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