Greetings again from Nova Scotia, Canada. Yes well I already posted something over in another topic area but have decided to start a journal for myself regarding AFOM as she is dear to me and if anyone can glean any information from it that is helpful then that is good also. So the last message I wrote I was pretty ignorant about the rules. Basically just ranting about how crappy I was feeling. I don't have any real support going on in my real life to help out AFOM so the participation in a journal is a relief and a good find. One more forward note: I tend to write in a humorous vein so if this is annoying to some people than you might not like the tone of it. I do it for myself basically as it helps me "pull out" more of AFOM's natural endorphins.
AFOM has been taking straight codeine at high doses: approx: 400 mg per dose liquid form. AFOM uses cold extraction water with AC&C (generic 222's). As a result of losing both parents in a one year stretch very unexpectedly. AFOM just didn't want to feel the grief any more and started taking it. AFOM was tired of bothering her friends for hydromorphone and stumbled quite unexpectedly onto codeine after trying cold water extraction method she found that it hit enough of the right buttons, made her feel good, although buzzy headed later. Slept alot too. Which was just fine by me at that time.
So this went on for almost two years and suddenly I was feeling these anxiety attacks and depression and couldn't for the life of me understand where it was coming from (boy what a dummy). She tried hormone replacement therapy progesterone, extra anti depressants, exercise. Finally I realized that it was codeine w/d and her tolerance was shot ski hi and I was taking higher doses or the bottles I bought didn't last as many days. But I was still getting these panic attacks and sleeping alot and depressed. Finally it dawned of AFOM and she has decided that she'de better get off these things.
So here she is trying for the third time in about a month and a half period. The thing with codeine is; although he is just a little schoolboy; he is a slick little brat of a kid who you can chase around the playground and he'll always get the best of you; especially if he can push down your endorphin cooks just as easily as any of his big brothers. (Endorphin cook is a little skinny chinese man in AFOM's head who bands his guang dong pot over and over with wooden spoon yelling in a high pitched, fast way: "COOK! COOK! COOK! COOK!" And all these fat Chinese cooks come running in and starting their gas stoves. They cook and cook and sometimes they can only get a little broth together.) Well I will continue on this tomorrow. Same bat time same bat channel.