Success...its what I want, its what everyone on here wants right? To successfully kick a horrible opiate addiction for good. Sounds pretty easy...but why at the very last moment am I unable to let it go?
I have degenerating discs and a curve in my spine, of course it hurts almost all the time and all the doctors have done in the past is put me on painkillers and then they tell me they can't prescribe them anymore.
But...unlike many, I am not on heavy painkillers. I was...percoset 4 years ago as well as the occasional Oxy script but my doctor was busted for being an over prescriber. Really wasn't a big issue for me at the time, and I moved on but then a snowboarding injury caused me to be prescribed Tramadol and T3's at the same time. At first I took the Tramadol the way I was supposed to but slowly I started upping the dose to get the same relief....we all know how this story goes don't we? I have kicked the Tramadol, its been 30 days I honestly have no desire to go back to those as I really feel that they were going to be the end of me.
I got through the Tramadol withdrawal because I had my T3's and Emtec's (no caffeine T3's) so I didn't suffer too badly but now...yet another doctor I have has been yanked his prescribing rights (I can sure pick them) so I am left with not much of an option but to wean down and be done with it.
I should probably mention that right now in Canada the College of Physicians and Surgeons is cracking down on all painkiller users who do not have Cancer. Nice right? There are so many people who are worse off than me that are being screwed by this mandate.
I know you're probably thinking "what??? Codeine is so not that bad to come off of?!??" But it is, and it hurts like the others do when you start to not have as much in your system and I think thats when the panic "oh god I need to get a refill" mania starts and I cave completely.
It is my hope that since I did work my way down from 330mg Codeine a day to 90mg and now I have 2 30mg pills and it will be an easy transition and not something I should be so freaked out about. I honestly am ready to break this hold these T3's have on me and my life but I am afraid of the limitations I will have once my back starts hurting again, which it seems to do even when I have taken T3's.
Maybe its the fear of no longer having a pill to help with the hurt even a little...? I don't know....