Have all the motivation in the world but fall apart at crunch time... - Part 6

By LadyJaid · Feb 27, 2015 ·
  1. Hello again, its been awhile since I posted and since then I went back to my old ways...I went to a walk in clinic here for a refill on my asthma meds and the doctor was kind enough to give me a full months worth of T3's because I was in pain, still am. Seems whatever is going on in my L4 L5 is getting worse, not better. I can't seem to get a referral to a pain specialist, I don't have a regular family doctor and here I am again feeling like I'm an addict as I come to the end of my script...not early either may I point out. I may have taken one more here or there than prescribed but I never over did it.
    I also got a refill on the tramadol, and paid for that mistake. Once I was out I cried and cried and shivered and had the scoots, stomach cramps...the whole gammit. Dumb on my part and I do know better.
    I have done a lot of soul searching and I have come to the conclusion that I am not only taking the pills for the "pain" but also because I have a very high functioning husband, we own a business and he is really quite demanding. I feel like in order for me to get the things done in the average day and cope with the pain I need something. I'm sure this is entirely the wrong way to go but I don't have many options right now.
    I am looking at an out patient program at the city's addiction facility, I have yet to make contact because I am afraid the rest of my family will find out. All of them are in the Addiction treatment business, my mother in law being the director if Mental Health and substance use for the Health Authority here...quite a pickle hey...?

    LadyJaid added 1106 Minutes and 54 Seconds later...

    Wow did I ever get a treat last night!! I got to listen to and meet Dr. Gabor Mate renound addictions specialist. What an eye opener! I am so gratefull that I had that opportunity because it has given me a whole new view of my addiction, why I have it and different ways to work on myself. I'm inspired!
    Today is going to be a good day. Last T3 taken at 2pm yesterday and so far I'm feeling good!

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