Heroin - and now i think its my time at last - Part 106

By tryhard · Aug 23, 2014 · ·
  1. a all , thank gawd its sunday , but feels a bit nauty not going to work ,, i feel mixxed bout just laying in bed ,,,, dose not feel right or comefy at all.... LOL , been so long feel,in nothing but could always go a lifetime with out that one ay.....

    dont know what to do with myself today was going to go in to work and clean out the trucks , they do need it......
    for all the days i did not want to go or even get out of bed and now it hurts ......
    how strang i would give anything to go to work today , not for the money...........

    hartattacks gone home again his girls in hospital again , intensive care ..... so this working hollidays not going to well for him
    and i am here all alone ,, oh poor me , i be lonely..... have cash and car but a bit slow when it comes to interacting ,,, well i have cept myself to myself a lot for the past two decaids ,,,, now what???

    anyways should grab the ute and the billy and go fishing down the waterhole ,, i dont fucken know but as i can say that with a smile ,, all must ok.........

    see ya in a bit

Comments

  1. marathonmel7
    Hey Tryhard! I can relate to how you're feeling. I haven't taken a day off in almost two weeks. I had a half day today and I feel bad about it. I could be making money but instead I'm getting my hair done. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not using. I have to work. I've got to be addicted to something ya know? Tell me, do you still get cravings? If so, how do you manage those cravings? I keep relapsing after being clean two days. Do you have any advise? I relapse cause my back pain. Heroin helps take my back pain away. I don't even care about the getting high part. I just need my pain to stop.

    Anyways I'm so fucking proud of you! I look up to you. You've struggled so much. You give me hope that I can do this too. I want to break free and be successfull. I want to have a normal life with normal people. Do you find that you're more social now? I am so isolated from people other than my job. But still, I don't interact much with my customers... Just the basics "hello, what can I do for you..."

    I hope you have an awesome weekend. Take good care of yourself. I look forward to reading your journal. Take care and well done!
  2. missparkles
    Tryhard... Well done sweetheart, it sounds like everything is going really well for you, and as much as we all deserve to feel like you do at the moment you deserve it more than anyone I can think of as you've been through (and endured) so much. As Marathonmel said though, just make sure that you take some "you time." I mean, what's the point in working your balls off if you don't spend some time enjoying the fruits of your labour, right? Not trying to piss on your parade love, just remember that any problems you have relocate with you when you move, you don't leave them behind. Sounds like you're in the right place to be able to see your kids and spend some time with them, I know I always felt great after doing stuff with my kids once I'd cleaned up. Stuff that I was unable to do when I was using. When I wasn't able to see them (cuz their dad was being a complete asswipe) I'd go visit the places I'd planned to take them and collect presents that they'd like. Not just toys, postcards, books, all things that would enable them to learn and enjoy wherever I'd visited on their behalf. Just cus my Ex wouldn't let them come didn't mean they had to lose out ...right?

    Anyway love, just a few ideas that's all. Again, well done.

    Sparkles. :vibes:
  3. kickitall
    Totally agree with miss sparkles treasure all you can and hold on to what matters.. take time for u and all that matters to you ☺ I didnt get to see my kids due to a blonker of a father too. Now I have my kids and every little moment matters and keeps me from swaying back to my drug if choice. Your a wee inspiration.
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