Heroin - and now i think its my time at last - Part 112

By tryhard · Sep 25, 2014 · ·
  1. So here I am , siting in the park , just scored , am feeling very low ,,,,, this fucked up phone , I have typed may a post that
    For one reason or six others ,, won't load ....
    Lost count of how many times I, be opened by hartstrings just to have all lost, ,,, can't explain how frustrating this is. .....

    I am in such a mess ,, everything is ok ,,, but I once again feel totally out of control ,,, but somehow am more at ease this time, ,,,, dose that make any sence????


  1. Cwb20022
    Hey try hard? I gotta agree with Charlie and Mel. Seeing a doctor could be a great help to you. Even if just a therapist to talk to.are you working? Something to kill time is always good when trying to get sober. Is there anyway you can get away from your drug connects? Like Charlie said. Remember how good you were doing when you were away. And you were even happy. I know its much easier to just get high then to deal with your problem s it sucks. Cause i know when your down how much heroin can help you forget about it. But in the long run using will just make you feel worse and more depressed.

    Would you say your circumstances is the reason your using? No matter what you'll get over this rough patch. But a doctor can really help. Try and record what triggers your cravings. Whether it be problems in life or boredom or just cause you want to get high. If you know what makes you want to use you can try and change it.

    Don't give up. You've come so far. And you can be just as happy as you were when you were working at your last job. Maybe even keep a personal journal. On what makes you happy and sad. Write your highs and lows of the day. You'll be okay though. You have alot of supportive people here. And they want let you give up. Next time BEFORE you get heroin please post how you feel. Usually cravings will come and go. So maybe someone can talk with you till it passes.

    Don't beat yourself up though. Cause that'll just make you feel worse. Just start over. Remember why you originally wanted to get clean. Right notes on why being clean will be good. Writing it makes it physical. Rather then just thinking it. And make a doctors appointment. I can't help but think you'd be much better off if you could get out of your mindset ( depressed).

    Good luck man. Stay safe. Peace.

    Ps. I like your writing style. I swear your writing has an Australian accent. Which is a good thing.keep your head up and always try and stay positive. Alot of people believe in you. More then even you believe in yourself. Try and keep your hands full doing whatever you can. And please pm me or post on here next time you feel like using. You have alot of support. And it can really help.

  2. marathonmel7
    Hey Andrew… how are you doing? It sounds like you're upset and feeling helpless. I can relate. Using makes you feel so empty.

    How is your new job going? Do you have a place to stay? I'm sorry for asking so many questions I'm just concerned for your well being.

    I hope you know we are all here in support of you. I'm rooting for you and your success. Did you consider seeing a professional? Any luck? I hope you go that route. Sometimes a doctor or counselor can really help. I hate to see you suffer. I feel some of your pain though. I can't stop using. I was 30 hours in and a relapsed again :( It's such a huge battle but you don't want to get dependent upon it again. It's not worth it.

    Just know that I'm here for you just like everyone else. We can all do this together. Me, you, Charliecat, Jels… I wish we could all meet and just join hands and support one another. I'm sending you a hug. Hang in there, you are loved.
  3. SoozyQ

    You DO NOT suck :)

    Sending you lots of love, honey. Not sure what else to say. I know it is so hard when you are in a dark place but you can come out the other side.

    Are you back near ocean? Big walks (even with a fag and coffee :) ) really do help mental health. Any exercise is good. Also, love yourself as you are, warts, addictions and all. It's bloody hard, no denying, to love ourselves but absolutely essential.

    Love ya mate xxxxxxxx
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