Wow the way this trip works is just insane , and clear to see I am getting nowhere very quickly ,, as kindly pointed out in
these last few pages of this thread. .....
I have been struggling to keep my head above water for quite some time now and I am going under very slowly , some how
I fail to be able to take action to stop this ,I can't keep one thort in my head for more than 5 minutes and I am stuck In an
Endless loop of this lifestyle ....
I have been using more than ever befor , I think subconsciously am trying to checkmate myself. ...paint myself in to this corner a little quicker ....I am isolating more and more , that good old feeling of wanting to run and hide , is with me again.
NO I DON'T KNOW if I will ever be ready ,, some part of me still wants to fight on , wants to be somewhere , anywhere but here and the rest of me just dosent give a fuck if I OD today or next week. ....
Mabey that's what the problem is as I just can't fight this as two people totaly wanting the opposite things. ......
I have been feeling alot lately , that I wish someone would just come and get me and take me away , to show me a better way ,, fuck knows I am over it. ....
How after all I have done and all I know , I can't come together as one to fight this , the unity is just not there ........
Fuck I want to stop , some days I just wish for death to make this stop. .....
how can this be so important and me not care enuff to do anything about it. .....
Physicaly I feel I could do this backward and forward , getting stoned hangingout shit forever ,, BUT MENTALY I am shot. ....
I .......have hit a wall , can't ..........don't want to typ anymore ,, feeling mood swing ,,,just pain all pain. ...gotta laydown........
Heroin - and now i think its my time at last - Part 127
- depression and drugs
- depressive disorder
- heroin addiction
- heroin relapse
- heroin withdrawal
- mental addiction
- mental health
- mental illness
- mental illness and drug use
- mental illness treatment
- opiate abuse
- opiate addiction
- support groups
- supporting heroin addiction
- treating anxiety
- treatment of major depression
- treatment of opioid addiction
- treatment options