Heroin - and now i think its my time at last - Part 128

By tryhard · Nov 26, 2014 · ·
  1. Ay there, I having trouble with the truth ATM and have been wrapping myself up so much with everyone elses shit , in a very
    basic , not well planned attempt to avoid myself and this hole situation.

    Dumb, dumb ,,, after reading MISSPARKELS last post and totaly not knowing how or what to say to that !!!!
    Still trying to find something intelligent to say !!!

    I got nothing mate , I spose if you were to ask me , I would have to say I am scared to want to get to the other side ,,,
    I know it is just there all I have to do is STOP. ...........
    Do you think I can explain it ,, no fucken way, , I mean I know what I am doing and I no how bad this is ,,,,but day by day
    I watch myself do this, ,,, I put myself in a position to be a passenger on this ride/trip. .....

    When I come to terms this , I will beat this. ....
    Seems as though I am just hanging around ,, not even trying to work out why anymore ???
    To look back last couple of weeks I must have just given up! !!!

    For the moment.

Comments

  1. missparkles
    Firstly lets just sort one thing out...if you want to just hang around this thread that's cool as well. As far as you appearing to be doing nothing, no I think you're doing a helluva lot love, it's just all going on internally, right?

    And yes, it is that very last dose/hit that you can't get your head around, and again I've also been there lots of times myself, so I get what you're saying, completely, sweetheart. But this is the part that no one can advise you about, cuz it is all about just having a little faith in yourself and then just jumping off. Everyone here will be here for you, but you already know that too. I think it's all about you feeling safe in real life, but again only you can set something up with close friends and family so that you'll have someone to talk to when you need it. As you've already managed to go quite a few days without using (when you were looking for that perfect amount of days to use and the amount of days to stop) so that part shouldn't be a problem.

    I suppose cuz you know exactly where this last reduction would be leading up to, the last time, it might be a little more difficult, but I know you can do it, I have complete faith in you. Just DO IT love.;)

    Sparkles. :vibes:
  2. lostlygirl
    I am so glad your ok, I was really worried about you :)

    Hang in there. You'll get there. Sometimes you just need to be a passenger for a bit. Missparkles is a very wise woman, she speaks truth.
  3. marathonmel7
    Hey Tryhard just want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate that in your country. I always think about you and again I want to offer you my continued support. I understand your struggle because i am right there with you. It's so hard to control your life on dope. I am glad you've since updated your thread because i was wondering how you were doing.

    Hang in there Andrew. You have lots of people that care about you. I am one of them. Whether your clean or sober you have a friend here for life. Just keep your head up and stay in the fight. I can understand your inner turmoil. I feel the same way a lot of the time.

    You can do this though. Hang in there. Keep fighting.

    Your friend,
    Mel
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