Heroin - and now i think its my time at last - Part 137

By tryhard · Jan 18, 2015 · ·
  1. Like a ship lost to the stormy sea...
    I have no shelter , no tether ,, no anker to hold me fast....
    I just drift the stormy oceans of my life , lost , no hope of rescue .....

    I have cut the ropes on my mast and dropped sail in hope I can slow my speed to nowhere but in this I
    have sacrificed all hope of getting back to friendly , calmer waters....

    Lost and alone , I would shorely abandone this vessel but I have no life raft not even a life ring to hold my weight..
    All safety equipment lost in the foul weathers of the past....

    I don't know where that came from , obviously is a some what nortical version of how I be feeling..


  1. missparkles
    Andy, Andy, Andy...are you trying to tell me that you don't know where the above post came from? Yeah right. When you don't wanna talk about something you just digress, digress, and then you digress some more. Listen sweetheart, I've never known anyone who feels less grounded, less sure about what they're doing (or have decided to do) than you Andy. No mention of payday and the money you'll have, nothing about you already having found the perfect plan for you to quit with, in fact all I got from your last two posts was "I am trying to keep as low as possible and trying to keep myself in the best possible position to jump off , when I need to......." and "I have no plan as usual but am always thinking bout trying again........" Andy, if you wait untilyou need to quit it will never ever happen, but then I know that you're also aware of this. As far as you having no plan to quit but that you're always thinking about it, well that makes as much sense as me "complaining that I'm 100lbs over weight, have no plans (or ideas) why or how this situation has occurred but I will think about it whilst I eat another 6 fresh cream donuts...now pass me the box labeled DONUTS...thank you very muchly?"

    Andrew, you're an extremely clever, intelligent, self aware person, so much so that your name (for me) stands out whenever I see it as it's synonymous with all of the attributes accredited to you at the beginning of this paragraph, but I'm preaching to the choir here...as you're already aware of this, fully aware. Now you can choose to keep us (and to some extent yourself) amused with you, at times, quite zany posts, or you can put all of these very positive traits to good use, but unfortunately you can't do both. It's a case of "use it or lose it." You see it's all about credibility...yours. Think about it Andy, if you needed someone who was reliable, consistent and trustworthy, would you choose someone identical to yourself? No of course you wouldn't.

    Please, anyone who is using and managing to do and be all of the things I've mentioned above, don't take what I'm saying personally as this is not directed towards you. You know as well as I do that you can't achieve anything if you're just drifting from one hit/drug use to another with no routine or plans in place, as Andy seems to be doing. There's nothing wrong with drifting aimlessly from one use to another (just please stay as safe as possible...ok?) if you hadn't already asked for help and support to stop using as Andy has. The choice is yours Andy, you know how to quit, how long it will take and how you can expect to feel, as people have already told you. You've already completed a full detox if you've kept to either a 3 days using and 4 days not using or 2 days using and 5 days not using. You already have a job and transport so all you need to do is find a place to stay. You have your children and your love for them to motivate you to syat stopped and so much love and support here at DF, you just have to ask for it. But again you already know this.

    However if you choose to continue using you then reduce most of the options I've mentioned above, doors will close rather than open to you. Think about just where you wanna be in 5 years time, what sort of relationship you want to have with your children. Is that what you really want? I apologise if you think that I'm nagging at you, but in all honesty that's all I have left as I've tried everything else to get through to you. You have 16 pages of excellent, balls on accurate advice and info from the people who know what they're talking about as they've either been there, or are still there themselves and know just how you feel Andy. It's now time for you to decide, to make your own choice, and it is a choice now Andy.

  2. charliecat
    How's it going A?
    I can feel your pain and despair from your last few posts
    You sound like your in the same place as me at the moment. Using everyday and just about keeping head above water.
    I still wanna get clean but have lost all my confidence and belief that I can do it.
    I am beginning to think that just wanting to and even having all the motivation in the world may just not be enough and that's real scary.
    Where are you A? Let us know your ok and what your up to good or bad.
  3. charliecat
    Getting worried about you Andy...post or text let us know your ok..
  4. nikdqueex
    Yep. Definitely Charlie cat. I fucken hope he's okay too!
  5. SoozyQ
    Hey Andy,

    Also worried about you honey.

    Hope you are doing okay. Let us know? Please

    Much love xxxxxxx
  6. Golddust Woman
    Hey Andy,

    What you up to? I hope you are OK? Please let us know.

    Positive vibes your way!! GDW
  7. charliecat
    Tryhard is having issues with logging in but wants you to know he is alright and still trying hard to get and stay clean..
    Hopefully he will be back on DF soon and have found some accommodation as still living in car which makes everything difficult..
  8. LuLu81
    I havent posted on this thread before, but I've been keeping up with what is going on.

    Its great to hear he's ok. I had noticed that he had looked at my profile recently, so I was hoping he's ok.

    To tryhard, keep your chin up mate. I hope you manage to get things sorted soon.

    Take care.
  9. SoozyQ
    Great to hear you are ok Andy (Thanks for letting us know CC)

    I really hope you get somewhere to live soon. Living in a car must suck a lot of the time.

    Much love to you. xxxxxxxxx
  10. Golddust Woman
    Hi Andy,

    Glad to hear you are OK. I was very worried. I hope you get your phone issues worked out soon. I know you are struggling with a lot, and I hope things get better and easier for you.
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