Heroin - My dark passenger - Part 4

By Dicazepam · Aug 18, 2014 · ·
  1. Started working and have to cope with a lot things... Hiding my addiction, which still exists, isn`t always easy. But I somehow managed to get along with my co-workers and bosses. Some of them are really nice and we are spending some of our free time together. I know its far from a good solution (the situation overall), but at least I have work and keep myself occupied during the day (less usage).
    I need to feel comfortable again (new home, "friends" etc.) to start again and reach my goal of becoming clean. At the moment Im keeping everything on a constant level (and try to decrease the usage step by step).

    Not the news some of you might have expected I guess :rolleyes: (if some still are following the things I write). But I just want to let you know that Im still alive and breathing. ;)

Comments

  1. JonnyBGoode
    So are you using H again?

    I came off H for a week using subutex about 3 weeks ago, made a thread on here, got a lot of support and helpful messages, however I ran out of Subutex on day 7 and ended up going back to H on day 8.

    Two weeks and a lot of smoking H later I am 36 hours clean, I have just taken 4mg of Subutex and feel a lot better though. I have registered with my doctor and am getting a prescription for Subutex now so it won't run out and they are also getting me some psychological help too and I am going to NA sporadically if I feel I need support. It's going to work this time, I am not going to put myself through this anguish again. It was stupid to think I could do it on my own but now I have some help from the local drug services I feel that I am doing things right for once.

    The way I see it, the quicker you stop, the easier it will be overall. I had an H habit that went back 4 years but was only an everyday addiction in the last year of that 4. I have tried 3 times to stop but this is my 4th and final time. The longer you let it go on the more you brain will adapt to the dopamine and the worse it will get, by the end you will have such a high tolerance you may not have the choice of smoking or snorting as you just won't be able to afford it, then you're IV'ing and you have to think of the health repercussions of that.

    The fact you have made this thread suggests you want to get clean so DO IT !

    We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for and drugs aren't the answer to lifes problems although they're damn good at masking them and making you think they are the solution.

    Best of luck anyway !
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