heroin... trying to quit... people in df i need you :( - Part 10

By HEROINSUCKS · Sep 6, 2014 · ·
  1. Hi marathonme thanks for the response!
    Ive read your thread couple times checkin on you but nevwr got to say anything but im glad we are talking right now, its weird but it kind of makes me less stressed to know you are going through the same sickness i am and we will get it through together! Im sorry to hear you have to go to work sick. Ive done that plenty of times and its defiantly not fun. Ive never been homeless and always been working and lived out ofy parents housr so this is all new to me,

    Well if they treat me in the hospital wont i have hospital bills to pay after? I remember i got in a car accident and fractured my t1 spine and they made me pay a lot of money for being in the hospital even though it wasnt my fault. As for my family ive tried to call them but they never answered or responded tome so i feel like if i went there to see them face to face i would just bother them and itll hurt me way too much to go there and see them pushing me away and kicking me out again. I dont kknow how i would handle that.

    On the side note ive smoked a little bit today, as my dealer felt bad for me again. Its so ironic that hes helping me yet prolonging my sickness but i juat dont know how to handle this and to cope with it. I keep screwing up.

    And anothet side note, i got jumped today by bunch of random guys trying to steal my money and stuff but i didnt have anything so i just got jumped and beat up for nothibg. I have a bloody nose and the side of my head is throbbing.

    I really hope things get better for you marathon. We will make it and see the light one day, just got to do it together. Ill always be here for you as well and hope we always keep in touch. Im sorry if ive missed anything but im still always using my crappy phone so its hard to go back and read everything and come back to respond. Luckily they didnt take my phone cus my phone is so crappy and broken screen anyway,

    Anyways i hope everyone is doing okay and keep in touch df! Ill always be here cus its all i got haha..

    I also know of a church but its right by my moms house so im kind of scared to go there but maybe i can find one close by and theyll help me. Thank you for that idea! And for the meetings im trying to find one close by as well since i have no energy to walk far :p

Comments

  1. marathonmel7
    Hey HS… Well, where do I start. First off, are you ok from getting beat up? Where were you when this happened? You need to stay in a good area if you're going to be living in the streets. I have no street smarts whatsoever but you gotta be careful out there. I guess this is a lesson learned. Just be careful in the future, please. You don't want to get yourself killed out there.

    I think you should go to that church by your parents house. You need to get resources unless you like being homeless. You are the only one that can change this situation. Who cares that the church is by your parent's house. You have the right to go there. It's do or die man. You gotta fight. Go and get some help. You're worth it.

    As far as using goes, I don't know what to tell you. I'm struggling myself and so I can't really tell you anything that you don't know already. All I can say is look at where this is taking you. I am doing a really big self assessment here and I don't like the way my life is going. I am unhealthy, financially strained, unhappy and sick of using. I am ready to quit and so I'm 12 hours in. I got some comfort meds from my psychiatrist to help me. I also went to the grocery store and got some healthy food. It's not much but it's a start in the right direction. You've gotta take that step too and not to your dealers doorsteps. Use your energy to go and find help. Is there a friend that you can call to pick you up and take you to go and get some help. Also, did you go back to that treatment center and see if they can help you? You need to go back there everyday until they agree to help you. Put some stress on them. Show them your serious about treatment and you'll get in.

    As far as the hospital goes… I'm not sure about the financial aspect of it but you can make arrangements to pay for it at a later date and you can also negotiate the bills. My brother was nearly killed in an accident and my Dad couldn't pay for all the bills. After talking to a lot of different people he got the bills reduced. i'm not sure how the system works here in California because that was in Florida but what's your sobriety worth? I'm not suggesting you wrack up a huge hospital bill but you do need some help getting off of this stuff. You can't simply withdraw on a concrete slab in the streets. Well, technically you can but who wants to do that when there is help out there.

    THis situation is only going to get worse. Get on your feet and go get some help. Forget about your dealer, he's going to stop being nice before long and you don't want to have to "owe" him anything. Nothing is ever free or without strings attached. Be strong and let's do this together. I will DM you.
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