heroin... trying to quit... people in df i need you :( - Part 5

By HEROINSUCKS · Sep 3, 2014 · ·
  1. Serak thank you for the response and support, i still cant grasp the fact i lost my loved ones, my family, friends, espe ially the girl im in love with. I guess ill just have to deal with it and be fucking depressed cus i guess thats what i get for being a fucking dopehead. I did able to get a place to stay for a night then on the streets again. Never been homeless so this is rediculous, shitty thing is i got to get some h, only a dub but hey i.was really sick depressrd and i jist wanted to feel numb again. So now i gotta go back to day 1, i didnt steal amything tho and i need to find some people to be there for me as friends. Sorry if i didnt get to everything youve said but im on my.crappy phone and iys hard to go back to read it and come back to type. My phone is crap. But just knowing i have people out there caring gives me a little bit of hope. I was only 26 hours in so after this last dose lets sre if i can make it to 48 hours and then further, love you guys and gals. Df my only friends and people there for me.

    HEROINSUCKS added 192 Minutes and 24 Seconds later...

    This battle is seriously making me so bipolar i feel like. Ive been reading up on some peoples journals and its so inspiring to see them actually getting clean. I wish i was there. I wish i was clean. Im so weak when it comes to withdrawals. If they can do it why cant i?! Why?!?! If i just stayed clean i wouldnt have lost the live of my life, my family, my friends. To all you reading this and just started opiates or thinking about giving it a try, dont. It will ruin you like it did me. You lose everything. Im in a place in life i never thought id be in. I am really not this type of person... but then again who is right?

    Well im an hour and a half in since my last small dose. Its nothing but im going to count down the hours, because even one hour for me is a big accomplishment. I know some of you are thinking wow, thats nothing you still have days to go. But since im so weak when it comes to withdrawals its a big thing for me. Im scared to death.

    One day maybe ill be clean and have my shit together and maybe... just mayb
    Ill get the people i love back in my life. Im sure not a lot of people are reading this but it feels nice to just vent since im alone now, but i really appreciate the people that has been supporting me on here. I cant thanj you enough to even spend 2 minutes of your life to be there for me.

    Sorry for the rant, i just feel like talking to something even if its my phone haha. Crazy i know. Maybe im going crazy. Im sitting in a little spot trying to hide away from all the people going on with their lives being happy. It makes me smile to see them so content with life. Maybe ill be that way one day. Anyway enough of my emotional vent. I hope everyone is doing well and for the people that has gotten clean i hope you the best for your future and so so so proud of you guys. You are a big inspiration in my life. My heroes. :')l

Comments

  1. TheBigBadWolf
    So.
    And now you please stop feeling sorry for the past - you will not change your situation with sitting around being remorseful.
    What you are in is called present and now you need to lay the tracks down for your future.

    I guess you don't love being homeless so much you wanna join in in homeless lifestyle.

    You get off your bum and go to a drugs service, please.

    ou have intenet access on Wifis on your phone, so you please use it an find out who in your town are the 'helping' places. go now.

    Much affection from here. :vibes:

    BBW
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