How to begin my recovery? Doing this for myself. - Part 1

By hb12 · Mar 2, 2015 ·
  1. I am a first time poster so forgive me if this becomes a ramble-y mess. I am a 23 year old girl. I began abusing opiates years ago, but truly became an addict about 2 years ago. Myself and my boyfriend of 6 years each snort at least 5 15mg pills each day. I'm ready to get clean.. My boyfriend has many "hook-ups" to dealers and deals himself so I know that it wont be long before we both end up in legal trouble or worse.

    I plan on quitting within the next couple of weeks. I've played with the idea for quite awhile but now I know that I'm ready to take the first step into sobriety. Although my boyfriend is supportive.. I know he's not on the same page as I am. He has legitimate problems with pain that he actually has had a hydrocodone prescription for years that he only used to take when he had the pain (once every few days), so he will continue to argue that even if he cuts down, he needs the pain medication in order to manage the pain. We are due to run out of oxys within the next 2 days, and he still plans on purchasing percocet/hydrocodone so that we can "taper down" to nothing.

    I know that tapering down isn't way to go for recovery, especially since between the two of us there won't be any self-control. I've been looking into Clonidine along with maybe NA or an outpatient facility but I'm not sure how it all works. If I were to go the doctor for help, would I get it if I decided to just go to the emergency room? I don't want to wait for an appointment and I'm ashamed to talk to my normal provider. Would they provide me with Clonidine(or something) to help me with withdrawal on the spot? I'm interested in rehab but I work a full time job in a psychiatric hospital with drug addicts(ironic I know) and I can't afford to miss more than a week of work.

    Basically, I'm just wondering how most people get help. I have no clue what exactly to do. I've been doing research but I can't wait for a dr's appointment and I don't know if the ER doctor would even help me.. I can't go cold turkey and I can't taper. i'm afraid that if I wait too long I'll kill myself. I don't even know if my relationship will survive this. Just asking for support. TIA.

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