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  1. I really want to quit this stupid habit. I don't even feel like I enjoy it anymore, it's like a compulsion, my danger time is from 8pm to 2am, I've realised if im not occupied during this time I'll get bored and make a call. it's worse if ive got cash around me.
    It's crazy because during the day I get no urges just during my danger time.
    I have tried to substitute with weed, living alone doesn't help but im too ashamed to let anyone close enough to guess my secret.
    I have so much unfulfilled potential and im so tired of wasting it.
    I really need help, I just dont know where to look or what will work for me.
    any suggestions are welcome.

    About Author

    Just a regular Jane Doe.With nowhere to go... I want you to show me the way


  1. brianmonkey80
    are you near Los Angeles?
    1. Lostandlonely
  2. brianmonkey80
    that's cool, I'm not gonna say I'll help you or can help you with your situation but I can tell you my experience with crack....
  3. Lostandlonely
  4. De Zaad
    Hi Lostandlonely. I am in California. I realized I was basically consistently lying to my partner a couple weeks ago in order to use. This realization led to a flood of honesty about how the drug was affecting my life. I have "only" been a weekend evening user, but the cravings are already real. I wrote a journal about all the things I was denying about my usage, and it has been very therapeutic. I have acted like a psycho with people, I have sought excuses to use it, I have ignored how the cravings were building in strength. So many other realizations.

    I know that honesty is important to conquering any situation we don't like. It isn't a cure all, but my advice is (partly) to get profoundly and shamelessly honest. Best of all things to you :)
  5. Lostandlonely
    @De Zaad Thank you for your comment and I do agree.
    I have done some questionable things in the pursuit of the high, and I push them to the back of my mind.
    I read that writing down all the negtives has a positive impact on wanting to continue use, I've yet to find the balls to do this.
    I justify that because im only hurting myself it doesnt matter, but if im honest, know it does. thank you again.
  6. De Zaad
    I fessed up to my partner last night that there has been a problem. He was nice, of course and said he'd been a bit concerned. I am glad to have sorted it out a bit before bringing it to him, but my real reason for not doing it was that I have been afraid I wouldn't succeed. And then I'd be exposed. Yet more dishonesty to myself and him was at play there.
  7. De Zaad
    By the way, I also wrote down all my craving feelings, and picked apart the different ways desire manifests. It helps me see it a little bit as an interesting thing that doesn't or shouldn't have power.
  8. sickgirl15
    You are now using against your will. I think this is another unfortunate stage in addiction. I am right where you are too!! When I'm home alone at night, I give in to my habit of smoking crack. My neighborhood is infested with it, and dealers are everywhere. It's very very hard to not go and score. My psychiatrist wrote down some words for me to study. They were something like: thought, choice, and action. First, we have the thought to use drugs, then we have a choice, then the action comes in. This goes for any addiction, really. Maybe that will help you. Good luck and there's always outside help you can get:)
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