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  1. I am constantly messing everything up. But at least I am trying.
    I don' t know what is wrong with me- I have no veins left, in two places I have suspictions about forming abscesses, which I hope that they are not and that I will manage to stop this process to develop in time ( If needed, I am going to look for medical help, this is out of question). But since wednesday I have used three times.
    Well, at least, it is not every single day several times per day.

    I am just dumb, I guess.
    Whatever, every day when I am not using is a step forward and gives a lot to me. Banal, I know. But I just do not know how to look at this. It would be stupid to surrender as well. FB_IMG_1489346400327.jpg

    About Author

    LittleBabyNothing
    A fully functioning (have a job and gaining second higher education as A+ student) IV addict from Eastern Europe trying to keep her life togeather and fighting herown demons.Trying make the best out of her life as far as it is possible keeping in mind the fact of her drug abuse.And not to die before time.

    Familiar with drugs for more than 12 years.

Comments

  1. jt18023
    dont feel too down swim is the same way 23 year old in school full time job and fully fictional addict. Swim once got clean for one month off opanas 10s (120 a month at least ) and (90 2mg xanax a month) then swim went out and got addictrd to dope right after. The first withdraw swim felt after getting clean made him cry so hard( swim is a tough person too) swim managed to go threw the whole detox process again and stayed clean for 6 months. Then once ahain swin got back on dope but switched to subs. Swim hate taking these things but they keep him away from that miserable withdraw that swim will need to face someday again. Getting clean is not easy swiy will fail time and time again but it is definitely worth it. How long can one continue to live as an iv addict before the body cant take it 30 years max??? Just a guess
  2. definitelynotmichael
    Knowing Is the first step we all know that exact feeling we all hit that point if you truly want to change your life you can it's insanely hard but incredibly simple as addicts we crave that instant gratification of using so when you think about changing everything in hopes that something will get better it seems impossible but it's definitely not I'm an active user and an extreme addict I've lost houses, cars, everything I ever cared about to this disease yet I'm still getting down thru there it's up to you and you alone to make the choice I personally hate AA or NA but shit works for alot I personally feel like they replaced their addiction but who am I to say of their addiction kills them and AA/NA helps save them more power to it but I also understand how you feel like you can't change even If you try you fail all that I'd even be willing to offer any advice I could or just listen to you when you need someone so keep posting it works if you work it I truly hope the best for you
  3. LittleBabyNothing
    Thanx for advices.
    NA is not an option for me, because I live in so small country that most likely I will know 2/3 of the group (Especially considering the fact that my job duties include regular work with rehab centres).Besides I do not feel this 12 step thing is for me.

    The funniest part is that I am periodically trying to quit for six years allready.So my quitting has become quite anecdotic.Once I managed to stay clean for a year, but then relapsed.
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