Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
I refuse to even acknowledge squiz's comments. They aren't warranted. I will do this alone. I've been in rehab before and guess what, I used in rehab and got kicked out and then met my current dealer and have used ever since. So, rehab is not the answer. I am the answer and I will get it done. I don't need to prove it to anyone on here that I can do it. I will do it. Now, on to other things.
I am so depressed. I feel like I cannot even breathe. Tonight my computer was infected with malware and it almost shut down. I had to pay to get it fixed and that's money I don't have. The money my father sent is dwindling fast. I don't know how to make it last. I need a job asap. That's all I can think about. As much as I don't want to work in this restaurant I hope I get called back. I need a paycheck, any paycheck.
I don't know how I made it through the day. It was my dog, otherwise I might have been dead. A bullet to the brain sounded quite appealing today. I tried to get out of this funk but I can't. My brain is screwed up. The pain is real. I don't know how to deal with it without drugs. I have no cravings whatsoever for drugs but I don't know how to live without them it seems. I have to relearn everything. It's only been seven days. Tomorrow will be eight.
Thank you to all that have been supportive. Your words have been invaluable. I couldn't do this without you. Thanks for not being critical of me.
I really don't know what else to say. I don't want to be me right now. I hurt so bad.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 101