Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Well, wow is all I can say. I just keep getting hit with negative bullshit. Yesterday I proudly walked into court thinking everything was going to be ok and boy was I wrong. i can't quite explain it but basically the judge legally had to put me in jail because I missed a previous court date and the bail bondsman had to have paperwork from my family in order to reinstate my bond. This of course required extra time and the judge only hears cases in the morning. I had to interrupt my mom, my uncle and my aunt at work and get them to sign paperwork from the bail bondsman and then fax it to them and then the bail bondsman had to fax it to the courtroom in order for me to be let go. The judge gave me until 2:30 yesterday to do all this and it was completely out of my hands.
Well, 215 rolled around and the judge was like what is the status, I'm going to put you in jail if the paperwork doesn't arrive by 230. So, to make a long stressful story short, my Mom got the paperwork faxed to the bail bondsman at like 229 and the bail bondsman got it faxed to the court at 230. So literally, I missed going to jail by a minute. I don't think I've ever been that stressed besides when I was deployed in Iraq. Luckily I had a friend with me to help me through it all or I would have had an emotional breakdown. Luckily, I had a good judge to. She didn't want to put me in jail because I had been in the hospital and I was a veteran. I got so lucky, so lucky.
My Mom was super pissed I interrupted her work and involved my uncle and aunt. My uncle and aunt was mad at my mother for not taking care of this and risking me going to jail. It was one big clusterfuck. I got a new attorney who was awesome and kept the judge from taking me to jail. All in all it was a horrible experience and I never want to go through it again. I hope I've explained this right so all of you understand.
Now for the next bomb. I contacted my future employer and told them I was in the hospital and that's why I missed an orientation and unfortunately I have to wait until next month for the next orientation in order to work. I have no money, my rent is late, my car payment is late and I'm in panic mode. I'm applying for a personal loan. My parents can't help me anymore. I am smoking like crazy which I didn't want to do. Things are just crazy right now and i can' t catch a break. I can't believe I am sober throughout all of this. It'd be so easy to slip back into my old ways. Only this time I will end up on the street.
I don't even know what to do right now. I can only plan out the next five minutes or I just get overwhelmed and I cannot think or function. I hope I can catch a break soon. I deserve one I'm doing the right thing for crying out loud!
I need to write a book about this shit. It just keeps piling up higher and higher. At least I am not in jail though. My next court date is 10 December. My attorney says that they are going to drop both charges down to a misdemeanor if this law passes today which she was certain it will. This is awesome because there won't be any felonies on my record. So I have to hold onto the very small good news I am getting. Bit by bit I will get my life back in order.
I will write more later. Just writing this post stresses me out because it brings me back in touch with reality. I am hoping for a badly needed break. I don't know if things can get any worse. I suppose if I get evicted. I am working on that though. We'll see. I was able to make part of my rent but not all.
On a side note, why the hell is there Christmas commercials already when it isn't even Thanksgiving. Fuck.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 109