Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Wow, what a shithole of a day. I waited all morning to see the suboxone doctors. They interviewed me intensely and decided I wasn't a good fit for their program. They decided I was too high of a risk. I am kind of dumbfounded. I am am addict, check. I am in need of help, check. I want help, check. I know what I'm doing isn't working, check. So what's the big deal. They kept pushing methadone on me and that's not what I want to do. I've been on methadone before and it was an awful experience. Plus, I am unable to make it to the clinic seven days a week for methadone. I can barely make it there one day because it is so far away and traffic is so bad. So, back to square one.
I guess my next step is to find a doctor outside of the VA that prescribes suboxone and see if they will help me. I am trying here. I really am. I admit that my way of doing things hasn't been successful and I'm ready for a change. I am still just taking each day as it comes and doing my best for that day. I have read everyone's comments and I admit I've been on a roller coaster of using and not using and I haven't been successful at what I've been doing. No one needs to rub that in my face. I wake up to the feeling of despair and go to bed with the same feeling of despair every night. I'm trying now to do something about it but the clinic today didn't want to help me. So, onto the next route. In the meantime I am trying to keep my head above water and do the right thing.
I had a good day yesterday. I picked my new friend up and we went to IHOP and got a free meal because it was Veteran's Day. It was good we had all kinds of food. Then we came back to my house and just talked and watched movies. Just doing something normal with someone normal was really nice. It was nice being social. No drugs involved.
Tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment. I'm going to see if she can help me find a suboxone doctor or a program to get into. I will keep trying. What's meant to be will be.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 114