Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Thanks Jungledog I appreciate your concern and I too, have been following your thread. Congratulations on your success. I hope to be right there with you
Can I just complain for a moment? I hate whiners but I feel like whining. I don't feel good. I am having chest pains, I'm wheezing from my asthma and I have no doctor to fill my prescription for my inhaler. I have a rash on my chest and my hips are aching like crazy. I don't feel well at all. My friend that is interested in me as more than just friends is annoying me because he can't seem to understand that I am not interested in him. I am one fucked up individual right now and the last thing I need is to get into a relationship with someone else. I welcome friendships with people and men but, nothing more than that.
Right now I'm spending a lot of time with a friend I met in the hospital. He's a heroin addict too but has quite a bit of clean time. He is on parole so therefore, he cannot screw up his life or he will go back to prison. He really helps me with my anxiety and panic attacks. He keeps me calm, makes me laugh and comforts me when I am feeling like crap. I am actually getting ready to pick him up today so we can hang out and chill for the day. He is living in a rehab center at the VA. He is doing much better than I am. He's the voice of reason in our newly developed relationship. He lifts me up. Anyways, I feel lucky to have someone here and I'm really happy it's a fellow heroin addict because he gets me. Also, I should mention he's a combat veteran too suffering from PTSD. So, we have quite a lot in common and he gets me.
I'm happy my team won today although I accidentally slept through the first half grrrr! I didn't realize they were on so early here in California.
Well, I guess that's it. I don't feel well. I think I am going to pop a xanax when I get back from picking my friend up and just relax. I feel a panic attack coming on and I don't want to have to go through that with him being here even though I know he'd be supportive. Lately, I've been having panic attacks every evening. It's been bad. But, I haven't resorted to picking up the needle. I am trying to learn how to deal with them. Also, my new medication helps slightly. I just think they need to up the dose. Perhaps my new psychiatrist will.
I hope everyone has a good weekend once again. I will update later or tomorrow. Take care.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 116