I really need some support, please help me - Part 118

By marathonmel7 · Nov 18, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Hey all, hope everyone had a good day. I went down to the VA today to hang out with my friend Rob. We went to the park and lounged and talked. It was a beautiful California day. We also went to Starbucks and got some coffee. I did ok just had some major anxiety and had to take a xanax to get through it. I'm really struggling with anxiety right now.

    Tomorrow I am going to call the doctor that's here locally about getting on suboxone. Cravings are pretty bad tonight and I'm finding myself quite tempted. I find that when I am alone and unoccupied I get into a funk and then my using brain gets talking to me and it makes me want to use. I still really feel like I need the subs to help with the cravings and get me stabilized.

    Still no update on my meds being filled. Looks like I am going to have to wait until December 2nd. Oh and I found out today I cannot start my job until December. I really need the money. This sucks. I need to be gainfully employed so I am not tempted to use. I cannot rely on other people. I have to be able to fight this battle alone too. But, I'm still hanging in there.

    I don't really feel like writing too much. Hope everyone has a good night. I'm going to go take some xanax and cuddle up to my dog and watch tv and hope for the best. Update more tomorrow.

Comments

  1. Jungledog
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Pulling for you Mel. Do your best to keep the demons at bay. I know how hard this battle can be.

    Hugs,
    JD
  2. Methicalone
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Hi Marathonmel,

    Firstly I really feel for you as what you're going through is easy by any means and by you wanting to cleanup you should actually commend yourself.

    What you need is preferably rehab and tons of will power... I have seen people kick the heroin addiction but have noticed that they only do if they truly want too so all in all it lies within yourself as to cleanup.

    All the Best!

    Methicalone added 1 Minutes and 26 Seconds later...

    apologies!... what I meant was I really feel for you as what you're going through is "NOT" easy by any means....
  3. Beenthere2Hippie
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I was thinking about you Mel and wanted to send you kudos for having managed to keep communicating, though you "don't really like writing." It takes courage to stay strong in the face of such major setbacks and emergencies. You have done that, and have managed to keep in touch and continue on your quest to get the suboxone you feel will be your best bet for staying sober and getting on with your life.

    I look forward to hearing how things are going for you while you wait. And your being left alone with your overly creative and uniquely temptation-oriented mind that spends its free-time coming up with new and imaginative ways to get high--what the body and mind craves deeply. Not easy at all. Not at all.

    Hang in Mel. You are inspiration to many--and to yourself, I believe. At least you should be.

    BT2H
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