Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
I re-read my posts from the last couple of days and I feel ashamed at what I've written. I feel like I really placed too much emphasis on someone else and I shouldn't base my emotions or sobriety off of someone else. In reality, I do care about the aforementioned person but this thread shouldn't be about failed relationships it should be about me and my sobriety.
I just took some xanax and had some coffee and a cigarette and it occurred to me that I'm not doing the right thing. I need to do me. It's ok to have a friendship with this person but anything more than that is setting myself up for disaster. Or at least I think so.
Today is a beautiful day. I am not sure what I will do but I am not going to worry about someone else. We'll see what happens between us but I feel relieved that I am not going to depend on someone else which was what I was doing. I have to handle my own issues alone. I can't dump my problems on someone else.
Plus, he still wants to get high. He's expressed to me that he no longer has cravings for heroin because of the methadone but wants to get high off of cocaine or speed. That's not sobriety. He's simply transferring his addiction to something else. I am better than that. He has his own issues to deal with and I cannot deal with his just like he cannot deal with mine.
So, I feel free. My thread should change directions back onto me and not someone else. I will still mention us but I am not going to dwell on things.
I can't wait to start working. Dec 15 can't come soon enough. I need the money. I need the distraction. Anyways, hope all has a good day. I will write more later as more comes to my mind. I just had some thoughts this morning that I thought I should post. i feel dumb for involving myself with someone that still needs to do his own healing. He is no better than I am and has since apologized a lot for what he did. I accept his apology but I am going to do my own thing. If the two of us happen to become one than there is a lot of work to be done. End of story.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 124