I really need some support, please help me - Part 137

By marathonmel7 · Dec 10, 2014 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Day 10 fucking court today. Woke up this morning tired as fuck and in no mood to get showered, do my hair and makeup and iron my suit in order to dress myself for court. I ended up laying in bed an extra 15 minutes to try to mindfuck this whole day in my head. So, I make some coffee and take a hot shower and then start to get ready for court. I start to get really nervous so I pop some xanax and propanolol. I head out to court an hour early.

    I get to court and anxiously wait for them to open the court room doors. It was about 915 by then. All of the sudden the judge appears and the first name they call is mine of course. Fuck. So, I get up there with my attorney and they go through all of their crap. I answer yes your honor to all of the nonsense meanwhile, gripping my hands onto the chair as hard as possible while grinding my teeth. The judge reads my case and then I'm dismissed.

    So, here's the punishment. DEJ which is drug classes, 20 of them, once per week for two hour blocks. 13 days of community service. DUI classes once per week for two hour blocks for 15 weeks. Plus a shitload of fines and probation for two years. I do anything wrong at all and I go to jail for a year. So, after court I went to the probation office to check in because they said I had 48 hours. Of course, they didn't have my case file yet since I had just gone to court so now I have to wait until January to learn what type of probation I'm on. I got slammed in court for a first time offense. Seriously, so much shit and oh by the way, I start a new job on the 15th.

    So, yeah that is my day. I don't really feel like talking about much more. Yes, I'm still sober and I have a feeling I will be drug tested by my probation officer so it's really time to end my relationship with heroin. Not that I haven't already. So, yeah… that's my day.

    Off to take a xanax and have a cigarette. My nerves are fucking shot and I'm tired and I don't feel good. Fuck the legal system. I'd rather of gone to jail for like thirty days to avoid all this other shit. It's ridiculous and the fees are incredible. I don't know how they expect me to pay it right now when I'm not even working. My advice to all those reading this, don't ever get in the car with drugs in your car or get high in your car. Just wait until you get home and/or have your dealer bring your shit to you. IT's not worth it. I'm lucky I didn't go to jail but in some ways I feel like jail would be easier than all the shit I have to accomplish before my next court date on March 10th. Sigh…

    More to follow...

Comments

  1. TheBigBadWolf
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    have some backpatting from me for going thru this hard day.

    Nothing more to say than well done.

    :vibes:
    BBW
  2. mrs.badger
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I'm really sorry, Mel. That's a shitload of stuff to be dumped on you all in one day. Try to give yourself a few days to process it all.
  3. marathonmel7
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Thanks for your support guys. It's much needed today. My nerves are shot and I'm trying to wind down for the night. All I can say today is… FUCK!
  4. Beenthere2Hippie
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Big Bad got the sentiment of the day just right, and I have nothing (except my support for you, also) to add to wisdom. Time to move on.
  5. Jungledog
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Mel,

    You got through it my friend and you did your best. The courts are designed to make you "pay" for your mistakes so they are not made again. Yes, it sucks and yes "fuck" is a totally appropriate response. I am sorry this is happening but I am proud that you are making it through and ready to be done with heroin. I also am glad you will not be in jail...that would not help your anxiety in any way.

    Love you girl and wish I could take away some of the hurt and pain of all of this. Know you are in my thoughts. Many, many hugs.
  6. lostlygirl
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I am sorry, Mel, that does seem like a harsh punishment for a first offence.

    Hang in there, you will get through this. Well done on getting through a shit day, my friend, and just remember that this too, will pass.
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