Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Day 10 fucking court today. Woke up this morning tired as fuck and in no mood to get showered, do my hair and makeup and iron my suit in order to dress myself for court. I ended up laying in bed an extra 15 minutes to try to mindfuck this whole day in my head. So, I make some coffee and take a hot shower and then start to get ready for court. I start to get really nervous so I pop some xanax and propanolol. I head out to court an hour early.
I get to court and anxiously wait for them to open the court room doors. It was about 915 by then. All of the sudden the judge appears and the first name they call is mine of course. Fuck. So, I get up there with my attorney and they go through all of their crap. I answer yes your honor to all of the nonsense meanwhile, gripping my hands onto the chair as hard as possible while grinding my teeth. The judge reads my case and then I'm dismissed.
So, here's the punishment. DEJ which is drug classes, 20 of them, once per week for two hour blocks. 13 days of community service. DUI classes once per week for two hour blocks for 15 weeks. Plus a shitload of fines and probation for two years. I do anything wrong at all and I go to jail for a year. So, after court I went to the probation office to check in because they said I had 48 hours. Of course, they didn't have my case file yet since I had just gone to court so now I have to wait until January to learn what type of probation I'm on. I got slammed in court for a first time offense. Seriously, so much shit and oh by the way, I start a new job on the 15th.
So, yeah that is my day. I don't really feel like talking about much more. Yes, I'm still sober and I have a feeling I will be drug tested by my probation officer so it's really time to end my relationship with heroin. Not that I haven't already. So, yeah… that's my day.
Off to take a xanax and have a cigarette. My nerves are fucking shot and I'm tired and I don't feel good. Fuck the legal system. I'd rather of gone to jail for like thirty days to avoid all this other shit. It's ridiculous and the fees are incredible. I don't know how they expect me to pay it right now when I'm not even working. My advice to all those reading this, don't ever get in the car with drugs in your car or get high in your car. Just wait until you get home and/or have your dealer bring your shit to you. IT's not worth it. I'm lucky I didn't go to jail but in some ways I feel like jail would be easier than all the shit I have to accomplish before my next court date on March 10th. Sigh…
More to follow...
I really need some support, please help me - Part 137