Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
Day 24, merry fucking christmas haha. Well, last night I went over to my friends house for christmas dinner. It's the first social event I've been to in over a year. It was really nice. The food was good but the conversation was even better. Just picture 8 lesbians sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer and wine. The conversation was hysterical at times. It felt so good to be out with people that love and care about me. Plus, it was the best feeling being sober. I did however, have a beer. I don't drink but i thought what the hell. It tasted good. Just light beer, nothing special. I'm not a drinker.
Today is a little sad. I don't have any family in town so it's just me alone for the day. I have my dog though of course. I talked to my mom this morning and she's having christmas dinner with my auntie and uncle and their parents. I wish I could be there to celebrate. I miss my family so much. I called my dad but no answer there. I'm sure he's busy drinking himself into oblivion with his new girlfriend. Oh well, I reached out.
I will be glad when this day is over with. Christmas is so overrated in my opinion. It's a ridiculous holiday. I just like to be with friends and family and screw all the presents and the other bullshit. That should be reserved for the kids I guess. Although eventhen, I think parents get carried away.
I feel good being sober but it is tempting to think about heroin on a day like this. Sure it'd be cool to kick back and get blasted all day but I am feeling pretty good being sober. My friends were so proud of me last night for that. They know how hard of a year it's been for me. Hopefully, 2015 is much better. It can't get any worse I don't think.
So, what to do today… hmmm I really don't know. Guess I will just write a lot. Lay low. Maybe nap if I can. We'll see.
But anyways, just wanted to wish everyone a Happy holiday. Hope you all have a great time with your loved ones. Take care and all the love and support to those that are still fighting for their sobriety. It does get easier as I am living proof. I really don't have cravings. Just random thoughts here and there of it. But, overall it disgusts me. My arms are starting to heal, bruises are fading, tracks are lightening. By next summer hopefully I can wear short sleeves and not feel too paranoid. I've been eating healthier too.
Next weekend my friend and I are going to start back cycling again. We've both taken quite a bit of time off and are ready to get back into it. Looking forward to that. I am a huge athlete but not while i was on heroin. TIme to get back all the muscle I lost.
Anyways, guess that's it for now. Take care everyone.
I really need some support, please help me - Part 153