Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
DAY 30!! WOO HOO!! I MADE IT!! I'm so happy I made it. Tomorrow is the New Year and I will be starting month 2. How cool is that? I can't believe I've made it this far. I have all of YOU to thank. You guys have been rock solid in terms of support and I couldn't have done it without you all. So thank you so much for being there for me, even when I lied about being clean. I'm so lucky to have all of you.
Well today I woke up really late, almost 1 o'clock. I am really sick. I now have a cough to go with all my other symptoms but my throat hurts a little less luckily. It's keeping me away from the cigarettes which is nice. I hope to quit those sometime in 2015. One thing at a time though. I don't want to go crazy. I was smoking a pack a day and now a pack lasts me two days. So, I hope to keep decreasing. As soon as I get better I will start cycling and running again. But, right now I can hardly move off of the couch.
New Year's is my second favorite holiday, Halloween being my first. I'm bummed I can't do anything this year. Too sick. I am however, stoked because tomorrow is the college football championships. My team plays and I can't wait to see what happens. (Booty you know what's up)
Anyways, I start work in five days. Can't wait. I'm broke and bored. I am determined to make 2015 a good year. I'm sober, working, dating, soon to be exercising and most importantly loving. Now if my weak body can just get on board. Ugh. In five days I will have been on this site for one year. So, for one year I've been battling quitting heroin seriously and finally after a year I am clean. I am living proof that this can be done and that's the happy ending for this thread that I've desperately wanted. Plus, I wanted to show those that doubted me that I'd make it and I did.
I still can't believe I've gone from 1-2 grams of heroin a day to nothing. Such an adjustment. Crazy. I just have to keep moving forward.
I hope everyone has a good New Year's. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions but if I had to make one it'd be to stay sober for 2015 and I am damn confident that I will. I want this next year to be about exploration, growth, and health. I've got three years of damage to undo and major PTSD to manage. I will say I do feel better off of my psych meds. I've been off of them for about two weeks. I can remember things better and I just feel better overall. No point in taking the damn things anymore. Sure, I get depressed but I get over it. I'm 33 and I have to get it together. It's now or never. I've already wasted my complete thirties on dope. I have to recreate myself and my memories. This will all take time.
I know I really need to go to the doctor but I refuse to be at the VA for the holidays. The place is full of psychos and I don't feel like dealing with it. I would rather just let my immune system fight this shit although I'm having a tough time doing so. Eventually I will get better I suppose. I have to right?
Anyways, Happy New Year everyone. Cheers! Thank you for providing endless support to me and my long ass thread which failed on most occasions up until now. Thank you all --
I really need some support, please help me - Part 159