Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)
My brain is a bit scrambled at the moment so I will apologize in advance. I am having some major anxiety issues and I have some enormous cravings right now. I am so happy I don't have a needle in my possession or I think it'd be over. Today would be "that" day. I don't have anything to treat my anxiety or help me calm down right now. I couldn't even drink my coffee this morning.
I'm hardly sleeping at night. It's really bad. Ever since I quit taking my seroquel it's been really fucking bad. I don't know if I'm rebounding from that or if I was even on it long enough for it to matter. I am off all psychiatric medications and I feel like mentally I am more acute now. However, I'm pretty sure there have been some side effects but because of the heroin withdrawals I may not of noticed. I'm no doc.
I just know today i feel like complete shit. I have so much on my mind.
A couple of good things, my friend came into town from Dallas. We had a good time. We went out Friday night and I drank for the first time in a very long time. It wasn't a really big deal. Alcohol isn't my thing. But I ended up catching a good buzz and we had a lot of laughs. Unfortunately, it rained all weekend so when we went to the beach we ended up in a restaurant drinking beer and watching football instead of playing outside. It was still fun. Then, Sunday i had to take him to the airport. I felt so much emotion seeing my friend go. I was so depressed and my mind instantly went to heroin. i was really close to fucking up Sunday and yesterday and now today. It's been a bad few days.
I just can't let everyone down and myself down. I've come too far or have I. I'm tired of life's little "tests." Jesus I deserve a break. And on that note, i've got to go...
I really need some support, please help me - Part 175