I really need some support, please help me - Part 175

By marathonmel7 · Jan 13, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Day 41…

    My brain is a bit scrambled at the moment so I will apologize in advance. I am having some major anxiety issues and I have some enormous cravings right now. I am so happy I don't have a needle in my possession or I think it'd be over. Today would be "that" day. I don't have anything to treat my anxiety or help me calm down right now. I couldn't even drink my coffee this morning.

    I'm hardly sleeping at night. It's really bad. Ever since I quit taking my seroquel it's been really fucking bad. I don't know if I'm rebounding from that or if I was even on it long enough for it to matter. I am off all psychiatric medications and I feel like mentally I am more acute now. However, I'm pretty sure there have been some side effects but because of the heroin withdrawals I may not of noticed. I'm no doc.

    I just know today i feel like complete shit. I have so much on my mind.

    A couple of good things, my friend came into town from Dallas. We had a good time. We went out Friday night and I drank for the first time in a very long time. It wasn't a really big deal. Alcohol isn't my thing. But I ended up catching a good buzz and we had a lot of laughs. Unfortunately, it rained all weekend so when we went to the beach we ended up in a restaurant drinking beer and watching football instead of playing outside. It was still fun. Then, Sunday i had to take him to the airport. I felt so much emotion seeing my friend go. I was so depressed and my mind instantly went to heroin. i was really close to fucking up Sunday and yesterday and now today. It's been a bad few days.

    I just can't let everyone down and myself down. I've come too far or have I. I'm tired of life's little "tests." Jesus I deserve a break. And on that note, i've got to go...

Comments

  1. Kitts
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    I'm a bit worried about you Mel.

    Have you had enough sleep? Eaten properly? Is there someone you can call? I'm sorry you feel sad your friend has gone. That must be tough. Would it help to call him?
  2. Jungledog
    Re: I really need some support, please help me (Heroin)

    Mel,

    Look, I make it a habit to not "tell" people what to do but if you are open to it I will suggest a few things. I know that you want off the pysch drugs but for people with acute anxiety/depression/PTSD plus opiate detox, it might not be such a bad idea to take something. Do you currently have a doctor to talk to about it? One who will not push drugs but offer educated suggestions? Could you take clonidine? Knocks me right the fuck out...all anxiety gone.

    From an herbal standpoint, try chamomile and lavender tea...4 times daily. Valerian root in capsules helps. Some people swear by kava. Try the restorative yoga.

    I am with Mel. I am a bit worried too. Try to make sure you get enough sleep and eat good food. Love you girl.
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